


the things we never meant

by saintsavage



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alpha Harry, Alpha Roxy, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta Merlin, Bodyswap, Complicated Relationships, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Harry Lives, M/M, Mad Science, Mating Bond, Merlin is Not Amused, NSFW, Omega Eggsy, Rough Sex, Roxy Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-04-23 18:19:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4886929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saintsavage/pseuds/saintsavage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"But there’s no such thing as a completely fresh start.<br/>Everything new arrives on the heels of something old,<br/>and every beginning comes at the cost of an ending."</p><p>In his grief, Merlin may have done something unethical in the space between a single gunshot in Kentucky and saving the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Slight Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd or brit-picked. Please let me know if you notice any mistakes! This is my first a/b/o fic so I'm still figuring some things out.

They're all exhausted. It's all Merlin can do to fly them back to headquarters while Eggsy and Roxy lie on the floor, too tired to even sleep. They left Valentine's lair (and the clean-up there-of) to the more than capable Princess Tilde; Eggsy hadn't liked that, had wanted to stay and make sure everyone was safe, but Merlin reminded him that Kingsman was a secret organization for a reason and so they'd left her with everything she'd need to release the captives and organize an evacuation.  
  
Admittedly, Eggsy still wasn't happy about sneaking away like they'd done something _wrong_ but he supposed that there were a lot of very powerful people tucked away in that hangar and if they were smart enough to give Valentine the bird then they could probably get themselves home just fine. "This hero thing is shite, ain't it Rox?"  
  
"What, you expected a party? Balloons? Poor baby." She's still in all of her gear, halfway draped over his chest because she'd been too tired to step over him once they'd grabbed her from the middle of nowhere. He wants to shove at her but his arms are refusing to move so he settles for grunting.  
  
By the time they've landed (by some miracle Kingsman still has more than half it's staff alive) the only thing that gets Eggsy standing is the idea of a hot shower - because he smells _rank_ \- followed by ten solid hours of sleep in the nearest bed. He'll worry about his future later when he can actually string two thoughts together.  
  
Roxy and Merlin are shuffling behind him but, since they're actually Kingsman, he figures they'll have to debrief or whatever before they get any sleep. _Who knew there'd be an upside to being unofficial?_ He's about to tease Roxy about it when Merlin's voice breaks the silence. "Lancelot. Eggsy." They're in the fancy foyer, strangely alone though Eggsy could have sworn there was a whole swarm of techs and medics around them. Apparently he zoned out for a moment there.

It's with reluctance that he turns to face the Scot, yawning as he does because fucking hell he's _tired_.  
  
At least, he _was_ tired. Now adrenaline is beginning to flood his veins again in a vicious rush because Merlin - calm, unflappable, cool-headed _in the face of a bloody army_ Merlin - is wearing an expression Eggsy had never expected to see on the man's face: regret.  
  
His training keeps him from tensing up, wondering if they're going to knock him out or even kill him because they're right back to that moment at the train, it's them on one side and Eggsy on the other- but no, Roxy looks just as confused as he is. He'd scent the air but the three of them are too coated in the stress of the last few hours. "Yes Merlin?" She's taking a step closer to Eggsy, a subtle move but her intent is clear all the same. Whatever is wrong, she's with Eggsy. _Bless you, Rox._  
  
"I-" _It has to be bad. Merlin wouldn't stumble over himself like this if it wasn't bad._ "Well, you see." He stops, finally meeting Eggsy's eyes. "I don't even know how to start." Start what? Eggsy glances at Rox, wondering if she's figured out whatever Merlin is botching at telling them. She looks like she's about to say something, maybe suggest they all get some rest before talking because she's reasonable that way, but Merlin interrupts. "The knights who survived this and weren't with Chester are going to be here soon."  
  
Eggsy raises an eyebrow. _And?_  
  
Roxy isn't so casual. "If this is about Eggsy he has every right-" Sometimes Roxy was fantastic, the best mate a bloke like him could ask for. Actually, not sometimes. Always.  
  
"No, it's about something else. Something I don't... I don't really trust them with." Merlin has composed himself enough to gesture towards the stairs. Eggsy thinks it might be the way to the medical wing, or maybe some area of Merlin's. It's hard to think clearly when he's so amped up so he settles for following Merlin. Roxy grabs his hand, gives it a brief, reassuring squeeze. "I don't even trust you two whelps with the bloody thing, but I need help. I've already taken things too far as it is." Merlin? asking for _help_? Jesus, must be bad. "The point is, I need to tell you something. Trust you with something that is more important than anything else, even what we just did."  
  
He's leading them further and further down in to the belly of Kingsman, swiping his way through several restricted doors and ushering them past numerous keypads and biometric scanners. Neither of them was aware of just how deep headquarters was, but it's as though it just goes on and on and _on_. It's daunting and the tension is starting to make him itch so Eggsy throws out a bit of cheek, just to lessen the growing sense of unease.  
  
"Don't choke up on us now Merlin." The beta merely snorts, waits for the scanner to process his information and verify his identity. Apparently he's regained his composure enough to keep them in suspense. _Wanker_. "Merlin, I"m bloody knackered. Just spit it out mate."  
  
There is a tic under Merlin's left eye that only seems to go off when Eggsy is pushing his buttons; it twitches now as he leads them down a bright, narrow hallway. "Right. Come with me." At the end of the hall is a heavy metal door that Merlin opens to reveal another corridor, this one set at regular intervals with glass doors. It looks like some kind of laboratory. "I'll start with Harry. He's alive and is in a coma. _Was_ in a coma." Eggsy's heart stutters, chokes on the information. _Harry_.  
  
Any remnants of his exhaustion are erased by that critical piece of information.  
  
"There was so little time between what happened in Kentucky and the discovery of Chester's duplicity, and then we were neck deep in trouble dealing with Valentine. I had authorized a plane to collect his remains but then he wasn't dead. Hurt very badly, but still breathing."  
  
"Harry's alive? He's here!? Fuck Merlin, that's great-" Eggsy's scooted up closer to the other man, almost running ahead of the Scot at this point, his blood practically singing because Harry's alive. Harry's _alive._  
  
But Merlin's brow furrows, glaring at him. "Coma, Eggsy. Not the kind you typically wake from. There was a lot of damage done, worse than before." He seems to know that the omega is going to bring up the last time Harry had scared them like this and shuts him down before he can even start. "You have to understand, I've known Harry my whole life. Even before Kingsman. I might have gone a little mad after what happened and now..." He's stopped them in front of another door. Underneath the blood and slowly fading smell of kill-fight-survive Merlin's scent is a rush of sorrow and regret. "I've done something rash."  
  
"What is it then? Because you're not making much sense, bruv." Roxy is quiet, watching Merlin with narrowed eyes. She doesn't seem to know any more about it than Eggsy and that has to rub - she _hates_ not being completely in the know as much as the next alpha. Especially when she's a full knight, a Kingsman.  
  
"I suppose not." He sighs but is hesitating when it comes to opening the door. Eggsy is shaking now, unsure if he even wants to see what's behind it. "The long and short of it is that Kingsman has always had an interest in prolonging and improving the lives of our agents, particularly our knights. I was involved in a project some time ago where- never mind that. Not important. Just the facts." Merlin is babbling. _Merlin_. It's enough to make Eggsy believe that maybe the end happened and they didn't beat Valentine because Merlin does _not_ babble. Ever.  
  
"Harry volunteered to be a sort of guinea pig for my personal pet project. This was years and years ago, mind you, before we knew very much about cloning. The project didn't get scrapped but it was decided to shelf it until we had more information available. Until now." If Roxy's spine gets any stiffer she might just break in two, and Merlin won't look at either of them. Eggsy is just frozen. "Until Harry needed a body that wasn't broken and I was foolish enough to push forward without considering the ramifications." _Oh god, Harry, what has Merlin done to you?_ "It worked, but the process I used to engineer the initial clones was very crude."  
  
Merlin slowly opens the door, showing them in to what looks like an observation area. "They didn't die off or anything like that but..." The room has a large window (probably one-way glass since the figure in the other room doesn't react to their entrance) looking in on a gleaming white hospital room. In the middle of it is a bed and in that bed is one Harry Hart, fumbling with the restraints on his wrists. He must not be able to smell them, but they can smell him. _Oh fuck_.  
  
Merlin is fidgeting with his clipboard, Roxy just might be in shock, and Eggsy is worried and stunned and petrified because Harry, he... it isn't... "Harry?" The word comes out raspy, dragged unwillingly through his gritted teeth. _He smells like... but that isn't..._  
  
The sound must shake Roxy to alertness because she's turned completely to Merlin, crossing her arms and all but growling at him, posturing even if she knows better. Merlin has dealt with plenty of pissy alphas in his day, after all. "What have you done Ian? That isn't-" She must be rattled to use Merlin's real name, even Eggsy isn't that daring.  
  
"It is, Lancelot." There's censure in his tone, reminding Roxy of her place. Or trying to, Roxy doesn't scare easily and right now she's all enraged alpha. "Harry Hart is alive, awake, and well. But he's also very angry and no doubt he'll be outright furious when he realizes I made a mistake and he's an alpha now. You understand my problem?"


	2. An Unhappy Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy has hope, Merlin's lapses in ethics continue, and Roxy is strongly considering kicking both of them. Harry just wants to know what exactly is happening.

"I don't care, it's Harry!" Eggsy is crowded up to the glass, nose pressed against it like a kid at the zoo, his face all lit up like it's bloody Christmas because he can't even believe it. In his experience miracles didn't happen, hell _good things_ didn't even happen. Yet there Harry was, just like he'd promised he would be. The radical change his mentor had gone through was nothing compared to the rush of sheer joy he felt because for once, _just this once_ , a miracle had occurred.

Even if it hadn't been pulled off as flawlessly as Merlin hoped.

Frowning Eggsy turned his attention back to the beta, wondering if maybe something else was wrong besides the alpha bit. "It's really him, innit? You switched him over just the way he was?" What if Harry didn't remember him? What if he had to learn how to walk and talk all over again? He'd seen something like that on the telly, brain injuries could be weird and this? He didn't even know everything that could have gone wrong.

His uncertainty must have been obvious because Merlin was quick to reassure him. "Yes, Harry retains all his memories up to the point where Valentine shot him." Eggsy can tell there's more to it since both of the other knights are still so tense but he's just not seeing the issue. Maybe he's just too exhausted to grasp why Harry being an alpha is a problem?

Scratch that, he was _definitely_ too tired, his thoughts were syrupy and slow, twisted up in everything he was feeling. All he wanted to do now was curl up at Harry's side and sleep for a month, surrounded by the smell of family because - like it or not - that's how he'd come to regard the older beta. Somehow Harry had squeezed past Eggsy's impossibly high walls and made himself vital.

It's why he'd been devastated, thinking Harry had been killed by that bastard Valentine.

At this moment his weary heart wanted nothing more than to shove through the door and throw himself in Harry's arms but thankfully his instincts were sharp enough to keep him from behaving impulsively, mind screaming about a connection he still wasn't making.

"You're not grasping the problem, Eggsy. Harry was a beta." Merlin looked over to Roxy, probably hoping she could it explain it in a way Eggsy would get. It wasn't that he was stupid - you didn't survive the life he had if you were - just that he could be a bit... _dense_. Especially when he was running on fumes, spent adrenaline, and no sleep.

A wisp of exasperation threads through both of their scents and it admittedly annoys him. He hates when alphas (when anybody) start acting like he's a proper idiot just because he's an omega. As though having a uterus leeched out his brain. That Roxy and Merlin were doing so now when they never had before was disappointing but he didn't waste any time calling it out. "I know that, ain't daft. Got a nose don't I?" His tone has taken on an edge of petulance, shoulders squaring off grumpily as though expecting them to argue.

"I think he means that Harry could very well be... different now that he's an alpha." That... well, that made sense, but Eggsy didn't like it. He wanted dry, amiable beta Harry who made him tea and rolled his eyes at Eggsy's taste in footwear. Who laughed at JB's antics and was the only person in the world who had ever taken the time to just _know_ Eggsy, appreciating him for all he was and could be. Surely being an alpha wouldn't change all that, right? And now he's worried too, because the last time he'd seen Harry the man had been furious with him. _Shit. We've got him back why does it have to be all wrong?_

Roxy steps forward, putting a hand on his arm as gently as she can, imploring him to listen. "We're more aggressive, Eggsy. I'm not saying he's going to be a completely new person, but he's going to be dealing with instincts and urges he doesn't understand at all. I've been an alpha my whole life so I've learned to control myself, but it isn't easy. Harry's going to need to learn how to do all that and it won't happen overnight."

"He'll also need to learn how to be around omegas." Roxy frowns at Merlin, as though Eggsy needed to be shielded from that little tidbit. Fuck, maybe he did.

"What does that even mean, Rox can be around me just fine. Even that ponce Charlie didn't tear in to me and he was fucking useless." Maybe he's grasping, because they can't seriously be suggesting that Eggsy stay away from Harry now, can they?

Roxy looks at him with what just might be pity and that's when he steps back, pulling away from her angrily. His eyes are drawn to his mentor as he does some quick thinking, trying to come up with a way to change Merlin's mind because he can't just stay away from Harry. He can't. _What would Harry do? Think, Eggsy._

Roxy keeps talking but he's only half listening. "...hard for me to be around unmated omegas and I've had _years_ to adjust to that. He's apt to pounce on the first one he meets, he won't be able to help it."

"So I can't even see him now just because I'm a bloody omega?" Harry's attention snaps to the glass even though he can't see. Apparently he can hear their raised voices.

"Actually, I was hoping you'd be willing to help. To... I suppose to train him. Roxy can help him adjust to the dominance issues he's bound to have around other alphas but we can't trust anyone who isn't a highly skilled operative to help him with the other bit." That Eggsy does hear, loud and clear.

"So I get to see him? To help him learn how to be around unmated omegas without behaving like a knob?" Merlin nods, relieved that Eggsy is finally grasping what's being said instead of getting his back up for no reason. "So what, like aromatherapy?" He's calmer now that he knows they won't keep him from Harry, enough that he throws out a bit of cheek, just to needle Merlin.

The tension leaks away from the beta's posture and he rolls his eyes before opening the connecting door. Roxy and Eggsy follow closely at his heels as though this is just another training mission, not really sure what to expect.

Merlin continues moving until he's standing by the bed and Roxy is next to him, but the second he entered the room it was all Eggsy could do to shut the door behind him and lean against it for support. _Holy Christ._ What he'd smelled before must have been a diluted version of the new Harry, or maybe it was stronger now that Harry was growling deep in his throat, instinct driving him to defend himself because right now? Harry smelled fuck-off _amazing_. Eggsy's trying to remind himself to breathe normally but it's hard not to gulp in air like he's drowning.

Though the man is restrained Roxy deftly steps back, away from Harry - except it's not Harry at all, he's so young with flyaway curls and a dangerous sort of edge he didn't have before - but also away from Eggsy who is still pressed up against the door like it's the only thing keeping him standing. Maybe it is. No one seems to notice his distress, they're both too focused on calming Harry. Roxy puts her hands up, careful to avoid eye contact and to assume as non-threatening of a pose as she can manage.

For his part Merlin steps back toward the door, inadvertently toward Eggsy, and that's a mistake because Harry lunges at them, moving the bed a good foot or so in the process. It's a miracle the restraints hold since they're the only thing keeping Harry from Merlin's throat. He should not find that attractive, should not swallow hard at the impressive show of strength that it was. _Fuck_.

Realizing his error Merlin changes course, crossing to the other side of the room - away from the omega. Now they're all more or less in different corners and Harry is breathing heavily but not growling at them. It's progress, of a sort.

Roxy slowly sits down cross-legged on the floor, trying to make it clear that she isn't a threat, and he knows he should do something but Harry is staring at him like he's starving, pinning Eggsy to the wall with just a _look_. It's almost too much because yes, Harry still smells wary, on the defensive with another alpha in the room, he smells angry and frustrated and even confused... but there's something else underneath there. Something that _sees_ Eggsy and _likes_ what he sees.

That last bit hits Eggsy like a ton of bricks. He's practically hyperventilating, both his hands behind his back, clinging to the door handle as a way to ground himself, biting his lip to keep from whimpering because _fucking hell_. This was _not_ his Harry.

The man is snarling at Merlin, clever enough to know that the source of his troubles is likely the fault of the only certified genius in the room. "Merlin, what on earth have you done to me?"

It clicks then that Harry might not understand why he's reacting the way he is. "Wait, you haven't even told him yet?" Eggsy can't believe it. Surely Merlin didn't just plop his best friend's brain in a clone, tie him to a bed, and run off to save the world. He wouldn't. But the look on his face...

He fucking _did_.

"We were a little busy saving the world." Roxy is struggling to keep herself as neutral as possible but there's a glint in her eye that says she would like nothing more than to smash Merlin's nose at this point. Eggsy can't really blame her. The only thing keeping her on the ground is that Harry needs to be kept calm - and he can't do that with another alpha in his immediate space raging because she works with _idiots_.

"What. Did. You. Do. Ian." His words are brutal, each one clipped off with a precision that is unique to Harry. Only now there's a heaviness to them, a weight that feels like it's pressing on Eggsy's chest so tightly he can hardly breathe, hardly blink. His omega nature is practically screaming _submit-alpha-mate_ and he is absolutely _not_ thinking about that last part. Nope. Not dwelling on the idea at all.

"You were in a coma, your body was a disaster and the chances of you waking up were next to none so I... I initiated Operation Herodotus." _Merlin and his bullshit names. Couldn't just call a spade a spade._ If Eggsy wasn't so busy talking himself out of jumping on to the bed _right now_ and _begging_ Harry to fuck him he might have laughed at the whole fucking mess.

Harry, for his part, looks shocked, eyes drifting down his body with dread. It was hard for him to see anything until Merlin approached - cautiously, hands up as though he was dealing with a wild animal and not his best friend - and gingerly pulled the blankets down. There was enough give on Harry's restraints to allow him to undo the buttons on his pyjama top, revealing too-smooth skin decades younger than when he'd seen himself last. He gasped, running a hand down his chest tentatively, fingertips brushing the places where scars should have been.

Across the room Eggsy manages to muffle a whimper but it's a near thing because his body is reacting to the unintentional display of just how fit Harry is; mind more happy to connect the dots now, to suggest just what it would feel like to be underneath that body... _no_. _Fucking focus, Eggsy. Jesus it's Harry you're thinking about!_

Well, it was _sort of_ Harry. The clone thing was a bit confusing to the logical part of Eggsy, the part that wasn't panting over the way Harry's hands traced his abs, prodding at his sides as though expecting to find a bit of pudge. _It's strange to see Harry like his, young and fucking gorgeous, smelling like home._ It should be a harder leap to go from thinking of Harry as a sort of father to wanting Harry to pin him to the ground and fuck him. It's not, but it should be because it was _Harry_. But then again, it _was_ Harry and all the things he'd thought about the man before hadn't changed he was simply seeing them as an omega considering a possible mate. Which was so _fucked_.

Harry collects himself, head tilted in consideration as he focuses his attention back on Merlin - as though he isn't shaken to his core. "I take it you made adjustments then, to the clone? You never could leave well enough alone. Better sense of smell? The strength? Do I glow in the dark?" He's rallying as much as he can, wearing a half smile like there's something funny about the situation even as his gaze keeps drifting back to the omega in the corner. Catching there.

"No, I didn't even want to risk fiddling with it. Err, you." To be fair Merlin no longer looks so shaken. He's drawn himself up, prepared to face the consequences. "But I didn't account for the subtle differences of..." It's a damning admission for him to admit that he's made a mistake at all but he's still not getting the message across. "Well, science has only-"

Roxy attempts to throw the man a lifeline, drawing Harry's attention back to her - she's noticed how he keeps focusing on Eggsy too, he's sure of it. _Shit, shit, shit._ "What Merlin means to say is-" Now they were both butchering it and Harry smelled like he might be afraid so Eggsy swallowed the urge to strip off his clothes and did what he did best.

"Looks like you've gotten a bit of an upgrade to full-blooded alpha, Harry. Hope having a knot doesn't go straight to your head though or Rox will need to knock you around a bit." _There_. He'd told him and he didn't squirm or offer his neck or moan like a harlot at the thought of Harry's _knot_. Ten points to Eggsy.

Harry's reaction was to blink as though Eggsy had told a joke, and then to wait.

Wait while Merlin stared at his shoes like they had personally offended him.

Wait while Roxy gulped and bit her lip as though she was expecting Harry to come unglued.

He waited but the reprieve he was hoping for didn't come.

It's no surprise that his response was to roar a one-word question that more or less summed up the entire cock up of a situation. " _What_!?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying not to obsessively worldbuild (because that is definitely my downfall) and it's kind of working? I'm also focusing on just getting chapters written and posted soo... I guess I feel the need to apologize for this not being perfect because I'm ordinarily very particular about my writing and I'm trying to break that habit since it leads to nothing ever being completed.
> 
> Anyway, please let me know of any mistakes you spot and thank you so much for your comments!


	3. A Saint He Is Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gets his explanation, Roxy knows exactly what Eggsy is thinking, and everyone who should have been paying attention was otherwise occupied.

It takes some explaining, enough that at some point he _might_ have dozed off. Most of it is about what happened after Kentucky, and what happened with Valentine; stuff that Eggsy knew all about since he was there, thank you very much. That Harry isn't asking a million questions about his new status is a surprise - apart from the basics - but then again the possible death of millions probably trumps suddenly being a quarter century younger in Harry's mind.

Personally, Eggsy doesn't think he could do that. Sure, his job is important but fucking _come on!_ Suddenly being young again? Being an _alpha_? His mind wouldn't be able to focus on anything else, even an aborted genocide. He'd be itching to just see himself, to find out what was different but Harry didn't even seem the least bit curious.

"How many knights survived?"

"Counting you and Lancelot, five. The others either perished during the time Valentine's sim cards were activated or had betrayed Kingsman alongside Chester." Merlin has refused to acknowledge Chester King as Arthur ever since he found out the man was a traitor, something Eggsy wants to tease him about (it's not his fault if Merlin's buttons are so easy and tempting to press) but Roxy delivers a brutal kick to his shin like she's a bloody _mind reader_ so he doesn't.

Harry and Merlin frown at him for yelping before going back to ignoring him. He supposes he should be glad they aren't asking him any questions because he doubts he'd be able to answer anything beyond yes or no. "Who does that leave us with?"

"Percival, Bors, and Kay." Harry nods, as though he expected as much.

Eggsy's attention drifts while the other three watch Princess Tilde give an emergency speech to address V-Day and hopefully to ease some of the panic in the world. Did a fairly good job of it too, managing to make it seem like stopping Valentine was an international effort instead of all thanks to Kingsman. Roxy couldn't resist snickering, making jokes about Eggsy 'having Tilde's back' and such that Harry did _not_ seem to appreciate.

He couldn't even imagine what people were thinking, if he'd been back in the estates he'd probably be going _mental_ right about now. He wondered if the car Merlin had sent had picked his mum and Daisy up yet. It was supposed to take them to Harry's (it was the only place he could think of) but there was always a chance she'd get stubborn.

At this point Harry was comfortable enough that Roxy and Eggsy were able to get closer to the bed, though Eggsy hung back, curling up in an uncomfortable plastic chair. He may have stopped listening again, mind _possibly_ drifting to a fantasy that involved offering himself to Harry on a silver platter while his head lolled lazily to the side.

Tilde's speech gets interrupted by a chirp from Merlin's clipboard indicating that the other knights were on the property and it's with reluctance that Merlin and Roxy leave in order to meet with the others. Roxy thought it was only fair that Eggsy come with them but he wasn't having that. Hell Arthur's blood was probably still all over the table. "I ain't official anyway, Rox. I'll just sit tight here with Harry, yeah?"

Merlin is too preoccupied to question it. Roxy isn't. " _Eggsy_." Her tone suggests she's about to point out the fact that Harry is still very much treating Eggsy like an omega he has an interest in, but Eggsy blasts her with his most pathetic puppy dog eyes expression and she drops it. _Roxy was awesome_.

The two file out of the room, already discussing the upcoming meeting, and Eggsy scooted his chair closer to the bed. It was even more unsettling up close, his eyes seeking out the familiar amid the strange - seeking and not finding. _Even his eyes are different, somehow._ Less mellow, more intense. _The only time I ever saw Harry look like that was when he decided to break Rottie and the rest at the Black Prince._

All the fear and anxiety he'd felt before had melted just from being near the newly alpha-fied Harry, and it wasn't just the desire to crawl in to the man's lap. He felt _safe_ with him, comfortable all balled up in that ridiculous chair because he knew that nothing would happen to him while Harry was there. It wasn't a new feeling, that sense of ease, but he expected it to dissipate now that Harry was an alpha because omegas by nature were cautious around alphas. It didn't.

And yeah, around any other alpha Eggsy would be tense as shit and jittery, even a little aggressive. He'd gotten outright _violent_ the one time Rottie had cornered him in the flat, busted the bastard's nose and everything. It was just the way things were. If you weren't careful you'd end up mated to a proper jackass and no doubt the worse for it.

But he wasn't afraid. Awkward, on the other hand? Oh _yes_. Once they're alone they both can feel it, a heavy sort of tension that wasn't there before... and it's decidedly sexual. Harry's restraints and half-undone shirt are _not_ helping. The omega squirms in his seat a little before blurting out what he's thinking. "You alright Harry?"

The response is an automatic "Of course" but Harry's eyes are focused on his feet and he is back to smelling afraid. That won't do. Eggsy kicks at the side of the bed, trying to lighten the mood a little, maybe get Harry to smile at him. It feels like forever since he's seen the man smile, _really_ smile.

"Hey, it's just me. Just Eggsy. You know I won't think nothin' of it if you're not okay with this." He offers a smile of his own, unable to help himself because he's still so happy that Harry's alive. "I wouldn't be, crazy science this is."

Harry shrugs, nonchalant. "I'm just just... numb, I suppose."

A handful of minutes go by. He knows because he can hear _every single tick of the clock_ with nothing happening but Harry staring down at his strange-but-familiar body and Eggsy hurting for him, feeling helpless and stupid because he doesn't know what to _say_. And then of course, there is their last meeting, bitter-sour on his tongue. "Listen, Harry. I wanted to apologize for everythin' before-"

He should of known Harry wouldn't let him take the lion's share of blame because immediately those dark eyes are back on him. "Eggsy I'm the one who should be apologizing. I _never_ should have said those things to you, not even in anger." He's so sincere about it, clearly meaning every single word.

Eggsy almost chokes up because nobody has ever said sorry like that, not to him, and so he tries to play it off like it's nothing. "I've heard worse Harry."

"But not from me." Unthinkingly, as though he can't help himself, Harry is sitting up and leaning closer, taking one of Eggsy's hands in both of his, holding them tightly as though trying to impart how important that distinction is to him.

After a second Eggsy nods, warmth flooding his middle, and now Harry is looking at him - _really_ looking - and frowning because the bruises from the do-or-die rampage he'd gone on are beginning blossom blue and purple against his skin. One hand drifts upward, featherlight, brushing against a nasty welt across Eggsy's cheek. "You really need to take care of your injuries. Merlin should have sent you to medical immediately before springing all of this on you."

That has Eggsy grinning, because it sounds so much like _his_ Harry, the Harry from before. "Well, considering he probably hasn't been able to send out an 'Eggsy is friend not food' memo it's probably better that I hang tight with you." And yeah, okay, he _might_ be breathing a little bit harder than before - short, shallow bursts that make Harry's eyes gleam, hot and hungry, and _god_ the things that does to Eggsy - but he allows himself that because he did save the world and all.

But then it's like Harry actually hears what Eggsy says, blinking in confusion. "I'm sorry?" Merlin must have skipped over _that_ part of their mad dash to prevent a worldwide culling. _Of course he did._

Eggsy might fidget in his seat and mumbles. "I might have killed Arthur."

"What?" _Please don't make me say it again._

He takes a deep breath, looking down on the tiles. "I killed Arthur."

Whatever response Eggsy had been expecting, it was _not_ a possessive growl, a hand lifting his chin as Harry all but demanded "Tell me that man didn't hurt you." Harry's face isn't neutral now, isn't hiding anything. He might as well have said the rest: _if Chester King touched you I will fight my way down to hell just to kill him again._

Eggsy gulps. "Tried to poison me, that count?" Harry growls _again_ , low and furious. _Fuck that's hot. I mean it's Harry for fuck's sake but it's... god._ It takes the alpha longer to compose himself than before. He's taking deep breaths, eyes shut, still holding on to Eggsy's chin as though he can't bring himself to break the contact.

Finally he drops his hand, offers Eggsy a shaky half-smile. "Well then, since I'm a dead man and you're persona non grata it would probably be wise not to seek out medical personnel until Merlin has adequate time to explain. Still, I'm sure there is a med kit in the bathroom. Bring it here and I'll take care of you." It is and isn't an order, another thing Harry will need to learn. He likely doesn't even realize there's a difference between normal talking and using his alpha voice, but he's using the latter now.

Not that Eggsy minds, which, yet again, should be more of a problem than it is.

Instead he untangles himself and stands, hissing because his whole body is fucking _sore_ , before he fetches the box as requested. He sets it down on the bed next to Harry, debating on whether or not he should undo the restraints when Harry takes the choice away. "Help me with these, won't you? Now that I understand what's happened there isn't any need for them."

Even as he complies Eggsy tries to explain that they aren't just worried about keeping Harry in bed. _Although I would be more than happy to keep him right here with me._ "Uh, Harry, it wasn't just about Merlin worrying you'd escape. You're an alpha now, gonna have all kinds of urges and things you didn't before. It's the only reason Merlin even told Rox and me; we're supposed to work with you, yeah? So you get used to bein' around other alphas and unmated omegas."

"Merlin worries too much. This body may be twenty five but I've lived twice that. Plenty of time to learn how to control myself." He winks at Eggsy, smiling and completely confident, but Eggsy is close enough to smell that Harry is anything _but_ calm, and he can definitely see the way Harry is watching his neck as he bends to undo the last buckle. _He's just going to patch me up, that's all. Merlin would surely agree that it was okay. Right?_

Harry swallows hard. "Right then. Off with your jacket and shirt, I need to see if you've broken any ribs." _This is fine, strictly professional._ Eggsy's shaking hands think otherwise. His mind is screaming that this is _NOT_ what Merlin meant by 'helping' Harry. "It's a pity about the suit, there is no saving it I'm afraid."

Bare from the waist up Eggsy finds himself sitting awkwardly on the edge of the bed, nodding absently. Harry is all business now - like an alpha taking care of their mate though Eggsy ruthlessly squashes the thought down - running his hands up Eggsy's sides, pressing against his rib cage and back. There's nothing sensual about it but Eggsy is still shivering and really, _really_ hoping Harry is gentleman enough to ignore the fact that Eggsy probably smells like he's begging for it.

If a hole could show up under his feet and swallow him whole, that would be great, because this was mortifying.

That doesn't happen, of course, because life isn't that kind. He can feel himself blushing, ears red, and he could just _die_. Who knows what Harry thinks about how he is reacting. _Christ, and Merlin thought Harry would be the problem in this situation. Maybe I should have listened and gone with Rox..._ A sudden, sharp pain on his left. "Fucking hell Harry, that hurt!"

"I'm sorry Eggsy, I don't think anything is broken but you appear to have fractured some of your ribs." Warm hands continue their examination though they're moving slower now, almost caressing. It's all Eggsy can do to keep still and tell himself over and over that this is _Harry_. If the answering voice in his head says something along the lines of ' _oh yes, yes it is_ ' well then, that's just for him to know, ain't it?

"Is there anywhere you _didn't_ manage to get hit?" Harry grumbles, letting out an annoyed huff before continuing. "You're lucky though, nothing penetrated the fabric." For the love of god, the way Harry says that _word_ , rolling it around on his tongue, voice gone low... unfair. "Turn around, I want to get a good look at that cut. Wouldn't want it to scar, after all."

Deciding that the only way he's going to survive this is by playing the clown Eggsy sighs dramatically, standing and flopping down on to the bed with a careless sort of ease he is _not_ feeling before rolling his eyes. "Yes Harry."

He might be an alpha now, but it seems he's still amused by Eggsy's antics because he laughs before setting to work, rubbing antibiotic cream ( _that stings like hell_ ) across Eggsy's cheek, tutting to himself as he turns the omega's head left and then right, noticing the blood crusting his ear and nostrils. His next words are spoken idly as he grabs a swab and peroxide out of the kit. "What you really need is a good scrub-down."

"That an offer, Harry?"

The thing is, before it would have been a silly little joke. Harry might have laughed and swatted him before ordering Eggsy to clean himself up. It would have been nothing, not even a blip in the radar. That was _before_. Now Eggsy's tone is sultry where it should have been mocking, and the way Harry looks at him is _not_ fond or indulgent. He looks like he wants to take a bite out of Eggsy, to dirty him up some more.

It happens suddenly. One second Harry is right in front of him, sharing the same air, breathing like he forgot how and the next he's across the room almost mirroring Eggsy's position from earlier. Feeling guilty (and ashamed and yes, fucking _horny_ ) he starts to get up, to apologize, but Harry is growling again and moving even further back, flush with the door. Eggsy really wishes the man would stop making that particular noise, because it's going straight to his goddamn groin and not helping the situation _at all._

\----------

He didn't like feeling as he did, like at any moment he would fucking _pounce_ and would have no control over himself or what would happen after. Harry found himself growling in frustration for what feels like the hundredth time, his whole body screaming at him to _breed-mate-fuck_ the omega on the bed. Eggsy looks so soft, wide-eyed and bruised all over but still so fucking lovely that it's killing Harry to stay where he is.

Another growl.

It wasn't that he'd only now noticed that his protegee was a comely young man. He had eyes, after all, and Eggsy was a flashy, beautiful man that practically _demanded_ attention. But he hadn't interested the fifty year old beta Harry in that way. Instead the boy had become a sort of surrogate son, still adored but in a way that was platonic.

Not this. Not the white-hot hunger that felt like a fever in his blood, threatening to overwhelm all sense and reason. Christ, the world had to be in shambles and instead of doing what he could to create peace he was fighting the urge to sink his teeth in to that perfect neck, to claim Eggsy, to make sure nobody else touched him ever again except for Harry. It was chaos and the only response he could make is to growl, again and again and again as though it would make sense of what was happening to him.

Instead it made things _worse_ because rather than making Eggsy back away afraid the omega _whined_ and _god, that sound_ : Harry had to physically grab the door handle with both hands to keep from lurching forward and grabbing the boy, _his boy, his_. "Eggsy-" He's trying for chiding but it comes out sounding desperate.

Now, if Eggsy had said anything cheeky, Harry could have ignored him. If he'd tried seduction or aggression... but no, of course he wouldn't. Not with Harry. Instead he took a hesitant step forward, eyes wide and hopeful but almost resigned to being refused (as though Harry could deny him anything) and then he whispered in the softest voice. " _Please_."

Even a _saint_ wouldn't have bloody control when faced with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the abrupt 'switch over to Harry's POV part at the end, it just felt more natural coming from him. Thank you so much for all the comments! I'm trying to respond to everything but my apologies if I miss some. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the latest chapter :)


	4. Everybody Is Grounded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I said: I could be a wolf for you. I could put my teeth on your throat. I could growl. I could eat you whole. I could wait for you in the dark. I could howl against your hair."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never actually written smut before, so be gentle?
> 
> Not beta'd and I'm not British so apologies on that front.

Harry would like to say he exhibited some measure of control. That he approached Eggsy and was careful with him, gentle, mindful of this being a momentous occasion. The kind that usually involved months of courting and kissing and love. Harry would like all of those things to ring true, he really would, but they very much were _not_.

Instead, Harry fell in to the moment, allowing instinct to override all thought, all concerns and petty worries. Rational thought, as they say, had left the building.

He did not think: this is Eggsy, half my age Eggsy with his open heart and overbright smiles.

He did not think: his ribs are broken and I am a stranger in this skin.

He did not think: we should talk about this, it's far too sudden.

He did not think, period.

"Eggsy." Harry said the name like he was saying _mine_ , watching the omega's breath hitch so beautifully as Harry crossed the room; all lethal, predatory grace now. His darling boy sways on his feet and whimpers, and isn't _that_ a sight.

_Take him. Keep him. Claim him._ It was like a litany, chanting at the back of everything. Eggsy was whining low in his throat and Harry swallowed that gorgeous sound down and yanked at his pyjama top, needing it off _now_. Buttons scattered everywhere but his actions barely even registered because Eggsy's soft, plush mouth was pressed against his own.

It was not a storybook sort of kiss. There was teeth and tongue and _heat_ as Harry practically devoured the shorter man, pausing briefly when he felt a brush of metal in Eggsy's mouth before the idle thought is washed away in the sensation.

Hands were tearing at his waist, pulling the soft silk down and away while Harry made quick work of Eggsy's buckle and trousers. He might have torn the pants underneath with the violent need to press skin against skin.

Harry backed Eggsy up against the bed, pressing him down, down, down. "I'll be good, I'll be so good for you, please Harry-" Such words, laced with need, spoken against Harry's lips and jaw. It made the alpha pull back slightly, taking in the sight of the omega - _my omega_ \- squirming beneath him. All of that flushed skin, all for him.

Whatever self control he might have had was slipping because _he_ was the one to snog Eggsy until his lips were red, biting at the corner of his mouth. Those were _his_ hands everywhere, _everywhere_. That was _his_ cock, gliding against Eggsy's as the boy wrapped his legs around Harry's waist tightly, as though he was never letting him go.

Before he knew it he was pressing kisses and small, sharp bites to Eggsy's throat and chest, a rush of licking and biting and sucking the skin between his teeth. Marking him. _Gotta mark him. Keep him. Make sure everyone knows, everyone sees._ At this point Eggsy has gone nonverbal, seems to find it hard to even breathe as he keens and keens. Harry can't seem to make his mouth stop. "Mine. You're _mine_. Mine before, mine now. Mine always." _Have to claim him, to bite down on that golden skin, make it count, make it bleed._

Harry shifts, moving back up, mouth against Eggsy's neck, spurred on by the erratic pulse he can feel. Yet there must be a tiny sane part of him left because he pauses, pulls away to look Eggsy in the eyes. The boy's pupils are blown, all but drowning out the green as he protests the sudden distance. Harry's mouth is dry but he manages one word, the only one he might know at the moment, but it is important. It matters. "Yes?" He waits. And how hard that is when he's so desperate.

When no answer is given he valiantly rallies, cradling the omega's face between his hands. This time he tone is more stern. "Yes?"

Eggsy must understand because he's nodding his head now, surging up to pepper Harry's face in wet kisses before settling his mouth against the other man's ear. "Yes."

Harry's mouth goes back to Eggsy's throat, nipping and sucking, making Eggsy plead before clamping down hard until he tastes blood. _Mine_. The omega is grinding against him, begging Harry for release, for his knot, and who is he to refuse his mate? _Knot him, must- have to knot him. Now._ He slips one hand down, past Eggsy's straining cock, to feel at his entrance. The boy is a mess of slick and wanting and Harry presses two fingers in easily, pumping them in and out until Eggsy has found his voice again.

"God Harry please, I can't, not until you knot me. I need it so bad, need you so bad. Alpha please." He sounds absolutely wrecked. Replacing his fingers with the head of his cock Harry doesn't push in to Eggsy, he _slams_ in to him, bottoming out and moaning brokenly at how fucking _amazing_ it feels before he thrusts again. At the base of his cock he's aware of something swelling but he's riding on pure instinct and in seems natural to him. Normal.

"Yeah, yeah Harry. Can feel your knot. Gonna take it, be so good-" It's beginning to catch now, he can feel it and grabs at Eggsy's sprawled legs, angling the omega's hips before one last, brutal thrust forces the knot in. Locks them there as Eggsy screams his release and bites down on Harry's neck - completing the bond.

\------

Eggsy tries to stay still, to relax in the bliss of his orgasm because _fucking hell_ that was _unbelievable_ , but with weight of Harry collapsed on his chest (and the fractured ribs) he was finding it hard to breathe. The flood of endorphins was receding and his whole body was absolutely throbbing in protest. Still, he might have passed out if it wasn't for the knowledge that Merlin and Roxy would be back, probably soon, and he _might_ be in a bit of trouble.

So instead of basking in the moment - in the surreal peace he felt at being bonded - he lightly stroked Harry's curls until the man grabbed his hand and placed a kiss in his palm. "Harry, think we could-" He squirms a little, his face no doubt going scarlet because, well, he'd just had sex with _Harry_. Amazing sex. With _Harry_. Harry fucking Hart. And now the man was his _mate_ and the discomfort he felt was hovering on the edge of things. Thankfully Harry seems to understand. "Of course, I must be crushing you." But when he goes to pull away he flinches, cursing because he's still knotted to Eggsy. His expression makes it clear he isn't sure how to react to that.

"Just lie on your side, yeah?" The two of them shift until they've found a comfortable enough position lying face to face with one of Eggsy's sun-browned legs thrown over Harry's waist. Neither of them really knows what to say. Harry traces Eggsy's mouth, his cheekbone, fingers brushing against the mating bite. He leans in and kisses both of Eggsy's eyelids. After a minute, Harry smiled at him. "I didn't know your tongue was pierced." It's a shy admission that makes Eggsy laugh and stick his tongue out, revealing the silver barbell.

"I had a retainer in during training, didn't figure you posh blokes would fancy it."

They kiss again, softly, before Harry pulls away, touching his nose to Eggsy's. "You should rest." Nestled against his mate, feeling safe, like he's finally home, Eggsy falls asleep.

\------

Two hours later Roxy and Merlin are making their way down the corridor, both worried for different reasons. Merlin is still thinking about how he's going to explain a younger, alpha Harry Hart to the other Kingsman, how they're going to help a world broken by V-Day, if his friendship is going to even survive what he's done... he isn't even thinking about Eggsy, though he was sure to explain the boy was not an enemy.

Roxy only had one concern: what they were going to _find_.

Eggsy was her friend but she'd be the first to admit he didn't think things through. Kingsman had trained a good deal of that impulsiveness out of him, but it was still there, a strong current that just might drown him if he wasn't careful. Or compel him to spend time alone with an unstable alpha who would have no control over himself.

Before they reach the observation door she can _smell_ it and grabs Merlin's arm, trying to stop him. Because he was a beta he likely hadn't picked up on the strong blend of sex and blood yet, but he would the second he opened that door. _Fuck, I have to tell him. We can't go in there until we know what happened._

"Merlin, wait. Can you pull up the video feed first?"

"Why?" He turns to her, eyes narrowed. Suspicious.

"It might be nothing, but I want to be sure." Her mind is already racing ahead, wondering if they should get a tranq gun first, praying that Eggsy was okay, when Merlin started to curse. Looking at the screen... she might have let a few choice words out herself. He had the door halfway open before she threw herself against it. "Merlin no, we can't go in there. Not yet."

"You must be joking. Harry- he- and Eggsy-"

"Harry will maul you if you go in there." It's a clear warning but apparently all of Roxy's good advice is being bulldozed in favor of idiocy today because Merlin pulls the door and goes in; she follows only because she might need to keep Merlin alive. _I swear they all should still be on leading strings._

\------

Eggsy has always been a light sleeper - had to be, with Dean in the house - and stirs when he hears what sounds like voices. Awareness rushes in, reminding him of where he was... and who he was with. Harry's knot has gone down, thankfully, but it's pretty obvious what happened and there's no time to fix it or put a good face on things. _I guess I should just be grateful we ain't still tied together._

Sitting up Eggsy grabbed Harry's shoulder and shook him, gently at first and harder when the man didn't move. "Harry, you need to wake up-" The alpha buried his head against Eggsy's side, muttering grumpily as the door opened to reveal a horrified Merlin and Roxy who looked like she was ready to crack all of their skulls open. He couldn't blame her. This was a disaster.

"Uh, hi?" He thought Merlin might yell at him, hell might grab him by the ear and drag him out of the room, but him and Roxy both, they're just staring at him, horrified. _What the...?_ When he looks down he's met with the sight of dozens of bites, some deep enough to break the skin, layered over the bruising from before. There are handprints on his arms where Harry (unaware of his new strength) had grabbed ahold of him and who knows how the bite on his neck looks.

While Eggsy cataloged his injuries (and winced because, while he liked a bit of rough himself, he'd never taken a knot before and certain things below his waist _hurt_ ) several things happened. Merlin made up his mind to approach, feeling guilty and horrible because he'd left the omega to be attacked so brutally. Roxy tensed and followed Merlin, babbling wildly. And then, of course, Harry woke up.

"Eggsy how bad are you hurt? I'm so sorry, I'd never have left you down here-"

"Goddamn it Ian you can't go near him-"

"What? Merlin I'm-"

Harry launched himself over Eggsy, landing lightly on the ground before _roaring in Merlin's fucking face_. If Eggsy hadn't been afraid that he was about to witness a murder the sight _might_ have made him a little bit wet. Because it was Harry protecting him and there was no sight in the world more precious than that.

Still, Harry didn't have a lot of control of himself right now and might end up killing his best friend so Eggsy stood and wrapped both of his arms around the man's middle, hoping to distract him while Roxy literally picked Merlin up by the waist and all but ran backwards to put some space between them and Harry. Her quick thinking afforded Merlin the time he needed to notice the fresh bite on Harry's neck and the matching one on Eggsy.

He went from feeling terrible to being furious.

"I was gone for two bloody hours! Two! How the _hell_ did you two even manage this? Off all the stupid, idiot things to do! You're, you're, grounded!" Admittedly, shouting that they were grounded probably sounded a lot scarier in Merlin's mind. Eggsy had to cover his mouth to hide a sudden smile because, yeah, they'd totally fucked up, but _grounded_? Really?

Roxy might have been treating all of them to her special I Told You So look.

It took a few minutes to get everyone sorted while Eggsy calmed Harry down enough that he wasn't seeing red. He managed to get them both in their trousers, the whole time talking to Harry, telling him that it was fine, that Merlin was just worried, that nobody was going to touch Eggsy or take him away, until finally Harry's labored breathing has evened out. Roxy must have ushered Merlin out the door because they're alone again and Harry's eyes were taking in just how raw Eggsy must look.

"Christ, you look like I mauled you." Though he looks appalled his tone is satisfied - pleased because he'd marked Eggsy, claimed him. For his part Eggsy is torn because he feels so loved as Harry's hands ghost over him... but he's also tired and sore and really just wants to collapse in a comfortable bed with Harry wrapped around him. "We're taking you to medical, now."

Eggsy groans, protesting because he doesn't want to get poked at by a stupid doctor but Harry is already leading him out of the room and scolding Merlin for not caring for Eggsy properly. Well, maybe they can sleep after he gets all fixed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to add a little bit more to the outline than I initially planned, which means this is probably going to be longer than 10-12 Chapters. Maybe 15? Next up we finally get to meet the other surviving knights!


	5. Power Naps & Fishy Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy and Harry tiptoe around their new relationship before finding out if they'll be accepted by the surviving Kingsman as knights. Merlin is, for the moment, acting-Arthur and is not amused, but he has come up with a simple solution to the thorny problem that is Harry. The knights are suspicious. Percival knows something, the question is, what?

Eggsy woke in stages, languidly wrapping his arms tighter around the warmth at his side. There was a hand running through his hair and down his back, murmuring softly. He could easily have slipped back to sleep but he knew that he didn't have that luxury. It didn't stop him from burying his head against Harry's side and groaning. "I don't wanna get up." Harry laughed, setting something down on the metal table beside the bed so that he could hold the grouchy young man closer.

Now that he was awake(ish) Eggsy noted that his mate - _fuck, it felt so weird to think of himself as mated_ \- was fully dressed in a bespoke suit that smelled old, like it had been stored away. "How long was I out?" The words are spoken mid-yawn, thrown out casually as he stretched his whole body out in an effort to convince himself that he really should be getting up.

"Twelve hours, roughly." It feels like he could sleep another twelve but that will have to wait. Instead Eggsy sat up and rubbed at his bleary eyes, wondering if they're going to talk about what happened. Considering how ill-prepared he is for something that serious he hopes they can put it off for a while, maybe a decade or two.

Hey, he can dream, right?

Until then... "Thought you was gonna sleep too?" It is very clear that Harry has been busy working. The tv is on low (though there's a shattered starburst taking up the left side of the screen, breaking up the image), there's a dozen or so files at the foot of the bed, and he's wearing his Kingsman issue glasses. Eggsy finds himself frowning when he had no intention of doing so.

"One might argue that I've been asleep for the better part of twenty five years." Had everything been less awkward Eggsy might have called the other man's bluff. But it was hard when Harry was smiling at him, fingertips ghosting Eggsy's cheek, slipping over the fullness of his mouth. It was hard to even _think_ beyond opening his mouth and swirling his tongue along Harry's thumb until the alpha leaned in close, mouth hovering over Eggsy's lips but not quite touching.

Instead he used his thumb to pull Eggsy's lower lip down, the wet digit continuing along his chin, brushing the omega's chest. Impatiently he leaned forward, wanting to lick his way in to Harry's mouth, to taste his smile and bite down on that lush mouth, but Harry only offers him a brief, chaste press of lips before putting some distance between them. _Tease_.

"You didn't have to stay with me." The words come unbidden, quietly popping out of his sleepy mouth even as he remembers clinging to the alpha, all insistent arms and legs. Teeth as well. He can _feel_ his cheeks go red at the thought, the color deepening because he knows there is a bite on Harry's arm, underneath the layers of his suit. Apparently tired Eggsy is more forward than he can find himself to be now.

Naturally, Harry is too much of a gentleman to say it, but he raises a brow in amused reproach.

"You became distressed when I tried to leave you." A sudden snort brings Eggsy's attention to the ruined tv, revealing a fragmented Merlin.

"Don't let him fool you, boy. I suggested he join myself and Lancelot in order to plan his re-introduction to Kingsman about an hour ago and he threw a chair." Harry's mouth falls open, briefly, before snapping shut with a sharp click of teeth. Eggsy grins, fascinated by the way Harry's ears turn the most adorable shade of embarrassed red that he's ever seen.

"Newly bonded pairs shouldn't be separated so soon." His tone has gone little boy sulky, so different from the Harry before who likely wouldn't have said anything at all, just glared in that haughty way he had.

"Oh? So it was _entirely_ rational to threaten to take off the arm of the nurse who came in to check up on Eggsy, even though all she'd done was offer you a cot of your own?" Eggsy can't help snickering at that, the idea of Harry being so possessive of him. It makes him feel warm and... pleased, he supposed.

He wants to show that and scoots even closer to Harry, practically in the man's lap. "S'alright Harry, you can admit you stayed because you like me." Admittedly he knows he sounds obnoxious, but that's rather the point. Just because he likes to see Harry squirm doesn't mean he wants him to feel completely humiliated.

"You are incorrigible."

"Pretty much." Eggsy is definitely in the alpha's lap now, mouth pressed to the column of his throat. "Hate to tell you this but you got yourself a certified menace." Teeth scrap against the soft skin at the hinge of Harry's jaw, nip at his ear.

"What am I going to do with you?" Eggsy has some ideas on that front, but Merlin breaks in, reminding him that they have an audience.

"Stop encouraging him, Harry." It's hard to tell with the broken screen but he's pretty sure Merlin is rolling his eyes. "I expect both of you in my office in one hour."

\-------------

It's with reluctance that Eggsy climbs out of bed and makes use of the small washroom. There isn't time for more than a brief shower (and the water is _freezing_ \- something he'd swear Merlin did on purpose) but it gives him the time he needs to remember that the situation he's in is seven kinds of fucked. By the time he shuts the water off he feels like he's back to level. There's something about being clean that just centers him, helps him focus, and he's going to need as much of that feeling as he can gather if he's going to deal with. Well. Everything.

Harry must have come in at some point because there's a garment bag hanging from the hook on the door as well as basic toiletries sitting on the sink. Mated less than twenty four hours and Harry's already taking care of him. _Well, he already has a knack for it. He's been keeping me on the straight and narrow for months now. Probably would be looking out for me even if we wasn't paired off. Gotta remember that._

There isn't a suit in the bag, surprisingly. Instead there's a pair of charcoal trousers and a ridiculously soft quarter-sleeve navy blue sweater. He runs in to trouble when he tries to pull it on, his fractured ribs protesting the movement. Harry must hear him curse because he knocks, asking if Eggsy needs his help. "Yeah, can't get this bloody thing on."

Harry enters, contrite. "My apologies, I'm afraid I didn't think about your ribs. I can get you a different shirt-"

"Nah, it's fine, if you could just...?" Eggsy's all tangled up in the sweater, trying not to aggravate his ribs any more than he already has.

"Of course, dear boy." Harry nods, stepping in close. Suddenly the small room is _too_ small and Eggsy is breathing harder than he had been a moment before. He tries to tell himself it's because his chest aches, but it's a poor excuse and he knows it. His tenuous grasp on his control is already slipping and it hasn't even been a minute in the alpha's presence. _Damn._

It takes but a moment for Harry to right the sweater, tugging until everything is smooth and in it's proper place. Once he's satisfied he moves away and Eggsy mourns the loss. "Thanks Harry." His voice sounds breathy, like he'd just run the obstacle course out in the woods. He feels like an idiot. "I guess I should be glad they didn't break. Last time that happened I had to have mum help me for months and I could hardly breathe. Dean thought it was hilarious, kept sending his boys to chase me, the prick."

Eggsy had only meant to lighten the moment, to play it off as though nothing was happening between them, but the warmth in Harry's eyes is smothered now. "He broke your ribs." The words are tinged with frost. It was hard to remember that Harry had never been nonchalant about the hurt Dean had inflicted upon him - and that was before he was an alpha, driven to protect what was his. Eggsy wasn't used to having someone care enough to want to do something about it.

_Shit_. "Uh, yeah. Wasn't a big deal or nothin' though." Eggsy didn't even know if Dean had survived V-Day ( _though he probably had like the cockroach he was_ ) but the last thing they needed was for Harry to go and rip the man's throat out for touching Eggsy. For hurting him. "Harry?" No response. Edging closer, until he was all but flush with the fuming alpha, Eggsy reached up and turned Harry's head toward him, trying to distract him with a cheerful smile. "Harry? Hey, hey, focus on me. Eggsy. Right here, nice and safe."

Nothing. Okay, he needed a better diversion. _I can do that_. Eggsy had to stand up on his tip toes (though he would deny that, hotly) before he could feather light kisses along Harry's jaw and chin. He kept talking, soothing nonsense, and after another minute he could see Harry gathering himself. It was an impressive display, considering how little time he'd had to adjust to being an alpha. Back at the estates newly presented alphas were always going off half-cocked, unable to control themselves. That Harry was able to resist the pull of anger boded well for the future. "Sorry darling, I..."

For once, the ever-droll Harry Hart was without words.

"Yeah, I know. Let's go get something to eat before I starve to death."

\-------------

They headed for the cafeteria, which was more of a fancy dining room complete with waiters because it was Kingsman and they could never resist luxuries. Once they'd ordered - burgers and chips - Eggsy's stomach growled, reminding him that he hadn't eaten since... before the dog test? That was almost two days ago. _Good thing I ordered two burgers, I'd ask for another one but then Harry will know I skipped out on a few meals. See, this is why I didn't want a bloody alpha. Nothing but trouble they are._

Not that he was complaining. If he had to have an alpha there wasn't any better than the gorgeous bloke across from him, politely ignoring the gurgling of Eggsy's stomach.

"So, do we have any idea what Merlin's plotting?" Harry is fidgeting with the silverware, with his water glass... he's still thinking about Dean, clearly, but blinks up at Eggsy's words as though surprised by them. It's still jarring, seeing Harry so young, so... unsure. But it's also impossibly charming.

"Not really, no, though I'm sure I can guess." Eggsy watches as Harry forces himself to stop, wrapping one hand casually around his water glass, the picture of elegance. It might fool the beta waiter but Eggsy can smell how out of sorts Harry is, feels it, in a way. Mated pairs can't read each others minds or anything, but certain emotions - especially strong ones - come across easier and right now Harry is radiating unease.

"Yeah well you throw Rox in the mix and who knows what they'll come up with." He can't resist nudging Harry's leg with his foot under the table, grinning at the chiding look the alpha gives him before remembering that he did have some questions that needed answering. "Did... did my mum and Daisy get picked up alright?"

"Yes, though Merlin amended their destination to a small house in the country. He felt it would be safer, for the time being." A tension he hadn't been aware of slips away and Eggsy leans back in his chair, relieved that his mum hadn't refused. She still wasn't happy about him vanishing for all those months.

"She's okay though? Her and Daisy?" It goes without saying that he isn't asking about their physical health.

"Yes, they are both well. She's worried for you, of course, but the events of V-Day were very... _difficult_ for her. I believe she's still in shock." Eggsy nods, understanding. Hell, he was there and he's still having a hard time processing everything. But his mum, she was strong. She'd be okay. "Would you like to call her, when you're finished?"

"Yeah, yeah want to let her know I'm okay." The waiter returns to their table with their meals before heading back to the kitchens and Eggsy doesn't waste any time digging in. "Don't know what I'm going to tell her." He's famished, talking between bites. It isn't until he's halfway through his second burger that he's able to pick up the conversation again - noting how Harry has been watching him, eyes narrowed. _Well, so much for pretending I've been eatin' on the regular._

Expecting a lecture (and fully prepared to be pissed off about it) Eggsy crosses his arms and waits but Harry puts his hand on the table, reaching out and waiting until the younger man sighed ( _it was not dramatic, shut up_ ) and returned the gesture. "We'll think of something."

Holding Harry Hart's hand in the middle of the Kingsman dining hall felt right. Like it was supposed to happen this way, just the two of them talking about the state of the world, the emergency council Princess Tilde has helped form until things get more stable... working together. _Being_ together. He hated to spoil it but they were done eating now and Merlin was expecting them; not to mention, he still had one more question to ask. A serious one.

"Do they have a list or anything, of who all died?" He doesn't meet Harry's eyes as he asks, scraping up the last bit of ketchup on his plate with a finger.

"It's tentative, but yes."

"Can I see it?" He looks up, nervous. He doesn't want to see the list. _He has to see it._

"Of course you can, dear boy." Harry pulls out his mobile and types something in before offering it to Eggsy. A few clicks and swipes bring him to the part he really wanted: home. He knows his mum is safe, and Daisy, but that's because he was able to warn them in time. He's silent as he scrolls, his scent getting more and more distressed. _Jesus, so many..._

"It's so long, Christ I know so many of 'em. Chelsea just lived down the way, used to watch Daisy every now and then when I couldn't. Jasper, Martha and Molly..." His eyes are a bit misty and he tries not to see the names, instead looking for two specific people. Looking and not finding. _Thank fucking god, they made it._ Jamal and Ryan aren't on the list. "I failed so many of them." Eggsy didn't mean to say it, but he's thinking it. If he'd just worked faster, fought better...

Harry is at his side, Eggsy hadn't even noticed his former mentor getting up, he was gripping the mobile tight enough that his fingers were white around it. "You did not fail them." Gently Harry pries Eggsy's fingers away, pulls something else up. "See this here? It's a list of the survivors. _Millions_ of people who are alive because _you_ saved them." And he's right, the survivors list is huge, pages and pages of names. _Millions_. His throat is getting tight and all he can think is he better not fucking cry. "Come on, dearheart. Merlin is waiting... you can call your mother on the way." Harry bends, kissing the top of Eggsy's head before offering his hand.

As much as Eggsy wants to wallow in that first list, to mourn all of those people, he can't because he believes Harry when he says that he did well. Can feel the truth of it.

He takes the alpha's hand.

\-------------

Eggsy calls Michelle as they make their way to Merlin's office. It's a brief conversation but he seems lighter when it's over and Harry is grateful for that. Back in the dining hall, watching Eggsy almost fall apart... he felt so helpless. He'd have done anything to ease that hurt, to lessen the burden, and is glad that he was able to do so. Something tells him he won't always know what Eggsy needs, but there's no need to borrow trouble, not when his boy is smiling again - nervous, but excited all the same.

They meet Merlin and Roxy halfway there and Eggsy flashes a bright smile at Roxy, pulling her in for a hug. "Look at you, all rested! You looked like a horror before." The other alpha is careful about returning the hug, keeping her eyes on Harry. He wants to tell her that he's an adult and fully capable of not attacking her in a jealous rage just because Eggsy hugged her... but he can feel his body stiffen, the urge to snarl difficult to refuse.

"Please, you're just jealous because I'm the prettiest." That Eggsy immediately returned to Harry's side, taking his hand, went a long way towards mollifying his need to posture, to show Roxy that Eggsy is _his_. "Had the best hair too, until this git went and got a couple decades shaved off."

Merlin ignored Eggsy's antics - he'd had a lot of practice doing so, during their training. "I'm afraid we're running behind schedule. We're going to meet with the other knights now to discuss whether or not Eggsy will be knighted." Together the four of them made their way toward the round table - the real one, not the decidedly rectangular table in the rooms above the Kingsman shop. "You'll both need to wait outside but I want to make sure that you understand the official story behind, well, you."

Harry glanced at Eggsy, who squeezed his hand reassuringly. If Harry was honest with himself he wondered how he would have coped with this situation without him. "You are the nephew and namesake of Harry Hart and are aware of Kingsman. You worked for MI6 until recently and are suitably trained. I'm going to suggest that, under the circumstances, we knight you as well." Merlin was already fiddling with his clipboard, seemingly unaware of the glaring problem with his plan.

Harry was happy to enlighten him. "They'll never agree to that, Merlin. It isn't done."

The magician sighed, at the end of his patience. Considering the fact that he was the acting Arthur until they were able to choose a replacement Harry couldn't really blame the man, he had to be under extreme amounts of stress. "They aren't fools, Harry. Normally they might not agree but we both know they are going to see through whatever lie we cook up. They'll _know_ it's you even if they won't know _how_ it's you."

"I hadn't considered that." It would certainly make things easier if he didn't have to go through the training process over again, let alone having to conceal his knowledge of things he shouldn't technically know. _Still_. "Wouldn't it be better to tell them about-"

Merlin broke in. "No, absolutely **not**. The last thing we need is for them to get reckless, thinking I can plop them in to a new body no problem, not to mention if anyone else found out... we don't need a bunch of immortality-seeking fools trying to break in to headquarters." He was clearly unwilling to even discuss telling the whole truth and Harry could understand why: it would be a nightmare.

"Well then, I suggest you head to the meeting then. We'll wait for you in the antechamber."

\-------------

It goes more or less how Merlin predicted. After a half an hour Roxy escorted them in to the room where Merlin and the other knights waited. Bors and Kay exchanged a confused glance while Percival's mouth thinned. Harry couldn't remember how long the latter two had been Kingsman (longer than him, but not by much, the 60's had been rough on Kingsman) but he knew Percival was younger. He'd come in only two years after Harry and they'd worked together for many years. He had to know something was up.

Merlin cleared his throat, gesturing for Roxy to take her seat. "We have decided that you, Gary Unwin, have proved yourself to be a true knight. It's unorthodox but, under the circumstances, we're going to allow you to choose your own name." At each empty place there is a name written in simply on a piece of expensive parchment. He circles the table before selecting the seat next to Galahad, not even looking at the name until he's seated. _Gawain_.

Roxy snorts, amused.

"As for you, Harold Hart, we have decided that there is no better successor to your uncle than you. From this point on, you will be Galahad. Please be seated."

After Merlin goes over the need for new prospective knights - including introducing his baby, the Lady of the Lake. It's an extensive program that will help them with proposing candidates, looking at individuals worldwide. Chester had always been against it, feeling that only those with noble blood should become Kingsman, but Chester King was gone: a new time had begun.

As he explained Harry could see Kay and Bors texting one another via their glasses while Percival watched him from the corner of his eye. It was obvious that Merlin was right, they knew he was the real Harry Hart, but aside from suspiciously avoiding the drinks laid out for them they didn't seem too concerned. After all, Harry was one of them. More so now - all three of the surviving knights were alphas.

At the end of the meeting Merlin brought up the need for a new Arthur but it was decided to wait for a week until things had cooled down. Their meeting concluded the knights filed out from the room, Harry reclaiming the newly dubbed Gawain's hand. He was almost out the door when Percival spoke up. "I seem to recall something from years ago. A certain... _project_." He doesn't say the magic word, but he doesn't have to.

Everyone froze, Harry, Eggsy, and Roxy all turning to Merlin. The beta was silent, looking down at Percival like he'd just ruined a new piece of tech. Percival ignored the tension, addressing Merlin directly. "Of course, I could be mistaken. It's certainly not something that needs to get around." Eggsy was rigid beside him and Harry drew small little circles on the boy's palm with his finger in an effort to allay his fears.

Percival opens his mouth, as though he wants to say more, but instead he shrugs and bids them farewell.

"What do you think that was about?" Eggsy is all nerves, moving closer to Harry as though he could shield the man with his body. It's a sweet gesture and Harry puts an arm around his darling boy, hoping to comfort him.

"Percival and Harry worked together for a number of years, they were knighted closely together. I think he just wanted us to know that he knew." Merlin doesn't seem certain, but they'll have to take Percival at his word. _Marcus, I hope for your sake that you aren't thinking about doing something rash._ Eggsy is warm against him, folding in to Harry's side. _Because I have something to lose now and I will protect him with all that I am, old friend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, from now on I'm going to try updating for sure on Tuesdays, possibly on Saturdays as well. I have a lot of health problems so I can't always sit down and write, sadly.
> 
> Stay tuned for alpha training, frustrated Harry trying to cope with his new instincts, trainees, Harry and Eggsy learning how to be in a relationship, and more! Probably smut too.
> 
> Oh and Marcus is Percival's real name, just in case that didn't come out as clearly as I intended.


	6. All The F*cking Growling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two weeks later. Harry works on 'alpha training'. Roxy probably regrets agreeing to help with said training because Harry Hart does not make for the most patient of students. Eggsy is stuck in London. The trainees are off screen hating their life choices.

Roxy continues to circle Harry, getting closer with each rotation. He remained perfectly still, reminding himself to breathe, that Roxy was _not_ threatening him and there was certainly no need to shove her down to the ground just to prove that he's... what, exactly? Stronger? Better? Top of the food chain? It's absurd enough to make him laugh except it isn't all that funny, not when his new body is _screaming_ for him to put the other alpha in her place.  
  
When she comes around again her arm brushes against the fabric of his suit and Harry's unreliable grip on his control finally snaps. "Back off, Lancelot." His words are harsh, the threat clear. _Goddamnit I had no intention of letting her push me this far. How am I supposed to be of any use when I can't even remain civil around a friend?_  
  
Frustrated Harry stalked to the other side of the gym, hating that he needed to put that much distance between them but knowing if he didn't he was going to attack her. _Again_. _This is unacceptable_.

As he centered himself, focusing on taking slow, deep breaths, Roxy made the mistake of approaching too soon. She'd only meant to offer a bit of comfort, understanding how difficult Harry must be finding his new instincts, but the second she stepped within reach Harry found himself _throwing her across the room_ like some kind of ragdoll. She landed with a thud against the padded wall, immediately taking a defensive posture in case Harry came after her. But he didn't, instead crouching low and growling, tense with anticipation.  
  
They must have sat that way for ten solid minutes, neither moving, barely even blinking, as Harry continued to growl. Finally, Roxy sat cross-legged on the ground. These sessions weren't always easy for the newly knighted Lancelot - at twenty two she didn't have all that much control herself - but she always broke before Harry, remembering herself and doing what she could to bring him down from whatever aggressive high he was riding at the time.  
  
When he remarked that she must hate babysitting him her response was to admit that she needed the practice too. It was the sort of admission she wouldn't make to anyone else, feeling like they'd take it as a sign of weakness, but she knew Harry needed to hear that he wasn't the only one that was a slave to instinct.  
  
"Galahad?" _Breathe in, breathe out._ "Should we call it a day?" A shake of his head: no. Ten more minutes passed before he was able to focus on the situation at hand, trying not to feel ashamed of himself.  
  
"Why is it that I find myself always..." Fists clench in irritation, unable to even describe the place he went to when he lost his iron-clad control. The rush of fury, the pressing need to be the best, to show it... and the _growling_ , which was almost the worst part. The rest was primarily in his mind and he felt confident that few would know how on edge he was if it wasn't for the bloody _sounds_.  
  
Thankfully, Roxy seemed to understand, offering him a sympathetic smile. "Growling?"  
  
"Yes. It's quite uncivilized." Calmer now he approached the other alpha and offered her a hand up. He'd apologize for throwing her, but it wasn't the first time he'd done so - it wasn't even the first time _today_ \- and they'd long ago decided to skip over the niceties during this part of their... training.  
  
"I'm afraid growling tends to be the gut reaction for most things when you're alpha, but it is something you'll need to learn how to control." Roxy gladly took his hand and stood, straightening her suit as she spoke; she had a hatred of looking rumpled that rivaled his own. Satisfied, she offered him more sterling advice. "It helps to count them, as bizarre as it sounds. Once I hit three I feel so ridiculous I tend to forget why I'm angry in the first place."  
  
Though it isn't what he wanted to hear Harry is glad she's so candid about such things. Knowing that she is struggling with many of the same urges and feelings has built up a strange sort of camaraderie between the two. "How do you stand it?" Perhaps it's because he had so recently lost his composure, but Harry finds himself unable to hold the words back any longer. Not after two weeks of feeling so out of control, like a stranger to himself.  
  
"I constantly feel like... like I have to _win_ , at _everything_! Only most of the things that set me off aren't even competitions. If I go out for my morning run and encounter another alpha I start running faster and won't let up until they're out of sight, as if I have to prove something. It's infuriating." He snorts at that, self-deprecating. "It's worse then I'm around alphas my own age. My _real_ age. It's obvious they find my petty displays amusing and I just... I _hate_ it."  
  
"I know, trust me, I know." She sounds almost bitter, which is surprising. Before Roxy had never given a hint of resenting her status but the look on her face now... clearly, it's been a hard road. "You think I don't have to ride out the instinct to posture? The dominance displays? It's gotten a little better since I was fifteen but I still struggle with it every single day. Condescending pricks don't help, either."  
  
After a moment the slump in her shoulders vanishes as she puts on a neutral expression - knowing that her unhappiness will bleed over to Harry. Even her scent changes, from defeat to... it's hard to really put a word to it. _Capable_? He was still adjusting to being so sensitive to smell. He couldn't ever remember, as a beta, noticing such subtle nuances, and it was a challenge to figure out what each meant - one he could appreciate because it didn't feel like it was sabotaging everything he knew about himself. It was simply a difficult skill he needed to puzzle out for himself.  
  
Both of them moved to the center of the room, resuming their positions from before - with Roxy starting just outside of the mat. "You are making progress though, more than you think. You couldn't even have me in the same room with you at first and now look at you." Harry would have ignored her optimism, brushed it off as pity or a kind lie, but the other alpha was nothing if not brutal in her honesty.  
  
_Maybe I am getting the hang of this alpha business after all?_ As she slowly made her way around the mat he concentrated on staying calm, determined not to react. The goal was for Roxy to invade his personal space while posturing without Harry responding in a negative manner. So far he still hadn't been able to handle her being in his personal space ninety percent of the time, let alone posturing.  
  
There was no real manual on how to be an alpha, certainly not when one was in his situation, but he rather thought Roxy's lessons (which were co-planned with Merlin) were extremely effective when it came to confronting the problems he encountered as an alpha. The trouble was he hadn't yet defeated any of them. Still, he'd started developing some coping mechanisms, one of which was idle chatter, and that prompted him to respond. "I rather think that had a great deal to do with Eggsy, not you."  
  
"Ah yes, our dear Gawain." They'd learned he did not like when anyone (not anyone: alphas) used the name Eggsy. He was getting better about it but Roxy apparently didn't wish to push him much harder than she had already done today. "How is that going?"  
  
Though her tone is light and conversational Harry can feel his lip curl up, ready to snarl.  
  
With effort, he manages to smooth the expression away, telling himself over and over that he he was a gentleman and gentleman did _not_ snarl at colleagues. That Roxy was Eggsy's friend and _only_ that because Eggsy was _his_. Eggsy belonged to _him_ , only him. _If she thought she could even look at his-_  
  
_Damn it, no. Stop thinking like that. It's most unbecoming._ "My personal affairs are none of your concern, Lancelot." He means to be curt, perhaps even aloof, but instead he comes off sounding like some idiot bully-boy. _Just lovely._  
  
"I wasn't asking about them, Galahad. I want to know how you're adjusting on a professional level. Have you had any recent... episodes?" _Christ, she sounds worried._ He could well understand why, though he was loathe to admit it.  
  
Being mated to Eggsy had helped considerably in regards to his behavior around unmated omegas. That is to say he was a flawless gentleman, untempted even when faced with an omega on the edge of heat. It was a relief to have _one_ area of his life that wasn't a constant battle to master his impulses.  
  
Then again, his behavior toward and around Eggsy was nothing short of appalling. He couldn't help it, no matter how hard he struggled or told himself that he was being possessive. Since Harry's dramatic return to life the omega had only gone on one mission, what should have been a simple surveillance detail that instead turned in to Harry physically beating the life out of the target because the man had an audacity to _wink_ at Eggsy.  
  
Never mind that Harry was supposed to be in London, not bloody New York. The second he'd known he'd been compelled to follow, commandeering a Kingsman jet for the trip without a qualm. It was like he'd come unhinged by the idea of his boy being an ocean away, the idea simply... unacceptable.  
  
And if someone actually _touched_ Eggsy?  
  
Well, if it wasn't Roxy or Merlin, Harry literally roared with jealousy; on occasion Roxy and Merlin weren't exceptions either. He felt like a ticking time bomb destined to go off at the whims of a five year old child. And he _loathed_ it... which was probably why Roxy was asking. She knew. Honestly she'd _seen_ on two memorable occasions.  
  
Harry closed his eyes, wondering what prompted her this time. Had it been his mate? The thought was a somber one. "I don't like him out of sight for very long. It makes me worry, when it _shouldn't_ because he's perfectly capable of caring for himself." He can hear Roxy coming closer but successfully resists the urge to open his eyes to watch. Instead he talks, softly telling her the cutting truth. "The other day he was on the phone with one of his friends from the estates and it took every ounce of willpower I had not to listen in."  
  
She must be drawing nearer but with bare feet she moves with a deadly sort of silence. He can just barely hear the fabric of her suit. _Don't think about it. Keeping talking. Nevermind the fact that you sound frustrated and seven kinds of annoyed._ "And I keep trying to feed him or groom him or... like I don't trust him to do it himself! And I _know_ it upsets him. Half the time we end up arguing and then-" Dark eyes pop open, realizing just what he's saying.  
  
He has the decency to blush, because most of his disagreements with Eggsy end up with both of them naked. Not that she doesn't know. Their offices might be sound proofed but apparently Eggsy's voice was a force to be reckoned with. Looking at Roxy now, red-cheeked and flustered, he wonders if he could convince Merlin to upgrade the sound proofing on his office, to maintain basic dignity if nothing else. _Though if I asked he'd probably say something vulgar like 'Oh you want me to waste resources on sound-proofing your office because your boyfriend is a screamer and you keep fucking him at work?_ '  
  
Sometimes he wasn't entirely fond of Merlin.  
  
"I feel a bit like a broken record but that's not unusual, especially in newly mated pairs." She's fiddling with the cuff of her blazer, frowning at a loose thread.  
  
"Oh, and how would you know?" Most Kingsman remain unmated and he thinks Roxy is going to continue on in that tradition. It's simply too much of a strain to put on a mated pair, more so if they are breeding. The only exceptions have been agents bonded to non-agent Kingsman personnel, until now. Harry worried about that more than he would ever admit.  
  
Two perfectly groomed brows are drawn together as Roxy frowns at him. "I do have friends of my own, you know, outside of here."  
  
"I'm sorry Miss Morton, I didn't mean to snap. I just wish I had more control, it shouldn't be this hard." His words are laced with resentment.  
  
Roxy isn't having that. He's suddenly flooded with a different smell. Chiding? Chastising? "You have to stop thinking like that, it's just making you fight yourself." He can tell she wants to poke him square in the chest, to shake a finger at him like a scolding housewife, but she resists - knowing it could very well set him off. _Wise choice, Miss Morton._ "No more thinking about how it should be, okay? This is how it _is_ and you need to adjust accordingly. Like you're in the middle of a mission, there's no 'should' there, right?"  
  
"You are correct." Strangely, he finds comfort in her words, with the way she framed his difficulties as though they were the parameters of an arduous mission rather than the impossible mess that was his life. "I will... I will do my best to think of it that way."  
  
\-------------  
  
Harry followed the fading honey and lemon smell of Eggsy down several hallways, along the sweeping main corridor, down stairs and up them until it finally lead him out a side door. His pace only slowed when he realized his mate was at the shooting range.  
  
Roxy's words were a swirl in his head, aimless and unsettling enough that he sought out the comfort of Eggsy without realizing it until he was leaning against the doorway, watching the omega demolish several targets with one of Merlin's customized rifles.  
  
It was a place they both tended to gravitate to, more so now than before Harry had been... altered. There was a certain satisfaction in watching mannequins and paper targets slowly disintegrate to nothing and it worked wonders when it came to managing stress. Likely that's why Kingsman's 'outdoor' range had a small, inviting little building for the agents to lose themselves in for an hour or two without worrying about freezing fingers or getting soaked to the bone.  
  
Content to simply watch Eggsy, Harry let himself relax. His racing thoughts were always quieted by the presence of the wiry, green eyed man he had bonded and, perhaps strangely, the ever-inquisitive Harry Hart didn't feel the need to question _why_ that was; this was one gift-horse he wouldn't be looking over too closely.  
  
After emptying his last clip Eggsy pulled off the headset he was wearing and broke in to their cozy silence without preamble. "You know it's sort of creepy, you lurking in the doorway and watching me." His words are warm, his expression bordering on the edge of delighted laughter, and Harry is struck by how much he _likes_ the omega.  
  
Part of his mind preferred a different L word, but Harry was far too rational to consider it.  
  
"I was observing your posture."

"My posture." It's clear Eggsy isn't buying that, not for a moment, but he plays along. "Well, what of it?" He leans back against the half-counter that opens up to the range, grinning. Harry isn't the only one who takes comfort from their bond. Sometimes Harry thinks it's all worth it, just to see him smile at him like that. Not that he'd tell the cheeky omega that, he was already full of himself.

"You've gotten much better since the first time I saw you here. I seem to recall you fracturing your wrist trying to pull some stunt you saw in a video game."

Eggsy's cheeks turn tomato red and he squirms. "Hadn't ever held a gun like that before, how was I supposed to know Merlin fucked with everything to make 'em extra scary?"

"Because he's Merlin?" Harry begins to move closer, not bothering to resist that particular impulse. "Looking at you now it would be hard to believe you weren't born with a gun in your hand. You have a natural aptitude for marksmanship."

"Oh shut it." Even his ears have gone red, eyes firmly on the ground. Harry puts a hand on either side of Eggsy's hips, leaning down, his mouth against Eggsy's throat, tone still casual as though he doesn't have any idea what his praise does to the young man.

"Am I not allowed to compliment you on your aim?"

"No." Eggsy's extraordinary eyes remained firmly on their oxfords. _He sounds so adorably sullen._

"That was awfully grouchy." Harry places a light kiss on the scarred-over mating mark. "I suppose I'll have to compliment _you_ instead." Another light press of lips, this time at the edge of his jaw, lingering there. "Watching you move is a rare pleasure." His mouth moves up, nipping at Eggsy's earlobe, traveling across his cheek to the corner of his mouth. Savoring the heady smell of arousal and the way his dear boy reacted so beautifully to it all.

"You're a filthy old man."

"If you mean I want you to come sit on my lap, red-cheeked and gorgeous-"

"Harry!" Eggsy's arms come up, wrapping around Harry's neck, pulling him down for a kiss. It was meant to stop Harry's words but the alpha took advantage of the moment, dragging Eggsy by the hips until there was no space between them, changing the angle of their kiss. He bites the omega's lower lip before licking in to that plush mouth, coaxing a low moan from the boy. Harry wants to hear that sound again, to _taste_ it.

Eggsy grinds up against him, cock slotting against Harry's own in a way that makes him whine and whine. _My lovely, impatient darling._ Hands drift from the omega's rolling hips to his arse before stepping back and away. "Eggsy." Flushed and wanting Harry isn't surprised that his mate ignores his warning tone, following Harry.

"Harry." Eggsy throws back, determined and reaching for the alpha even as Harry dodges, smiling in that unholy way of his which generally means he's going to say something that the gorgeous creature he'd bonded won't like at all.

"Come now, dear boy, stay put."

" _Harry_." It's a petulant whine now, demanding but blessedly staying still. Harry is more pleased by that sound than he'd ever, ever admit.

"Darling we are _technically_ at work."

"So? Nobody's gonna come down here, come on Harry-"

"Later." Though he doesn't use his 'alpha voice' (and even though he's sporting an obvious erection) it's very clear that Harry isn't going to give in. Occasionally Eggsy would deviously find a way to insist but today he relents, sighing loudly and reaching for his jacket. "I want you to think about nothing else for the rest of the day. And then tonight..."

"Bloody tease."

They start walking back to the mansion, Eggsy stomping because he really has no patience at all. Harry has no intention of telling him how precious he looks when he's sulking. Still, for sanity's sake, he offers up a diversion.

"I must say, I'm very impressed with Merlin's Lady of the Lake."

"Yeah, that thing is crazy good. That girl it picked out of Sudan is fucking brutal." Harry agreed. He didn't think Kingsman had ever had anyone so skilled with a knife before.

"I almost wish I'd forgone choosing a candidate just to see who else it would turn up."

Eggsy shrugs. "Dunno, your boy is alright. Mouthy as fuck." _Yes, and you were good and jealous of him for two solid days._

"Says the pot to the kettle." They're nearly the mansion now and he can see Eggsy is going to ask him about his session with Roxy. Wanting to avoid telling his mate that he'd in fact thrown his best friend in to a wall multiple times, Harry continued on the subject of their trainees - all of which had only been at HQ for a week. "Your friend Jamal is off to an impressive start. I'd never of thought one could build a bomb and blow up a door in the time it took for the dorms to flood with water." Merlin had been less than impressed with the damage but, once he'd stopped complaining, had admitted that if he was allowed to bet in the office pool he'd have put his money on Jamal.

From the look in his eyes, it's plain Eggsy knows Harry was ducking the issue. "Yeah, he always had a thing for making things explode. Fire too." Suddenly he stops, uncertainty flooding his scent. "I'm worried though, I didn't think it through but maybe I shoulda had him brought in as a tech or something. He ain't so good with heights."

"Well, if he's unable to become a knight there is always the option of joining Kingsman in a different capacity like your friend Ryan." The alpha part of Harry thinks that's a terrible idea. Harry ignores it. "How is he handling things, so far?"

"He might as well have died and gone to heaven. He's lovin' having all those fancy cars under his fingertips." It's hard for Eggsy to be unhappy when thinking about his friends and family, something Harry noticed even before their pairing.

"I'm glad." _More so that Ryan is a beta_. "How did the call go with your mother?"

"Better than I thought." Earlier this morning he'd been fretting about calling her, remembering when she'd begged him to quit the marines. He was stronger now but that didn't mean he wanted her to be hurt by his choices. "She's okay, she's going through a program to help her get clean." Harry masks his surprise. He knew that the repulsive Dean Baker was still alive and part of him had wondered if Michelle would go back or not; not that he'd of blamed her, she'd been under the man's thumb for so long... situations like that were never easy. "I was afraid it would be too much, leaving Dean and getting sober, plus everything that happened on V-Day, but she's going strong so far."

"I'm sure she'll continue to do so." Harry meant it. Very few people survive the death of their mates, which said something of Michelle's inner strength. Even though she'd relied on alcohol and the comfort of lesser men to get through it, she'd still lived. Most gave up. Harry only hoped that now she was getting the help she needed that she'd find some kind of peace. _And stay away from Dean._ "Come on then, the recruits are picking out puppies today. I'm curious to see if your friend picks out a 'bulldog' for himself."

"I'm never living that down, am I?"

"Not a chance."


	7. Crumbs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adjusting to living together isn't going as smoothly as the newly mated pair might have hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to give you guys a little bit of fluff before the angst begins :)

Every morning, precisely at 5:30am, Harry Hart woke tangled in sun-browned arms - half covered in the furnace of heat that was Eggsy asleep. It's only been three weeks now since they'd bonded but Eggsy is already at home in Harry's cluttered little house. Strange that it feels longer. He can't remember a time when he sprawled out in his lonely bed and felt content, even happy. His too-young body still wakes him hours before he's ready to be awake, as though he were still that old, solitary man who craved order above all things. Like everything hadn't changed.  
  
Almost impossible to think of being that man in the long afternoons spent casually stalking his mate through Kingsman's vast halls, watching Eggsy shoot, fight, swim... _thrive_. Equally impossible to think of being that other Harry when they're alone and he's drunk on the scent of the most beautiful boy in London and set on devouring him whole. But in the mornings there was finally space in his head to think about just who he was and might have been. Space to worry, to doubt.  
  
To wonder if this rare gift he's been given might have consequences.  
  
With care he manages to unravel Eggsy's clinging arms and legs with a minimum amount of grumbling, placing a soft kiss on his forehead before he leaves the bed and begins his typical routine. Initially, he'd wondered if he might begin sleeping in again like he vaguely remembers doing when he was decades younger, but so far he hasn't needed the alarm he has set for 6am. He turns it off now, knowing he'll get an earful from Eggsy if he forgets.  
  
Perhaps he just needs more time to adjust to being young again? After all, other parts of his life have taken beautifully to the change. He could easily eat his weight in burgers and terrible, cheap pizza without worrying about upsetting his stomach, had no trouble with his back, and as for his stamina... well, a gentleman doesn't like to brag but keeping up with Eggsy wasn't even _remotely_ a problem. There were even times where the omega tapped out on him, exhausted and absolutely spent.  
  
It did wonders for his ego.  
  
Idly Harry picked up Eggsy's socks from the floor and put his muddy trainers in the closet. It seemed no matter how many times he asked for Eggsy to please not trail dirt through the house or to put his dirty clothing in the laundry basket, the omega managed to ignore him. Or come up with excuses. He could already hear the whine in his mate's voice, _Harry I was tired and the mud was dried on my shoes, wasn't like I got muddy footprints everywhere. Socks? You're really going to scold me about socks?_  
  
He tightened his jaw and reminded himself that, at Eggsy's age, he had been less than orderly. That the omega was trying - after all, he did hang up his suit this time and there weren't any damp towels on the floor - was clear, but it didn't make his sloppiness any less of an annoyance. _Maybe I'll bring it up again, after my run. If he even wakes up before bloody noon._  
  
That they were having difficulties adapting to sharing a space appeared to be fairly normal from what he'd read (that he was reduced to googling information about newly bonded pairs grated a bit, but he wasn't about to ask Merlin) but it didn't make the situation any less frustrating for either of them.  
  
It wasn't all on Eggsy, either, even if Harry couldn't fathom why the boy got so upset at him for being late and not checking in. He also hated when Harry snuck bits of breakfast to JB or stayed up reading reports in bed. All little things, but they rubbed just the same and neither of them seemed to know how to... how to... well, how to even _be_ in a relationship. Harry had been a lifelong bachelor with a penchant for casual affairs and Eggsy didn't have time for anyone but his family, aside from the odd encounter.  
  
And there was that time Harry had snuck up on him, just intending to give him a little scare, but Eggsy had gone in to a panic, swinging a fist and nearly bolting through the back door as though he was expecting a full blown assault. Given his history, well, Harry at least understood that part and felt guilty for not realizing... it had taken an hour to calm the omega down, rubbing soothing circles on his back and coaching him through breathing exercises.  
  
But it wasn't all bad. Harry liked knowing as he went for his morning run that Eggsy was curled up in his bed, safe and protected. He knew without question that he'd come back to a quiet house, would let JB out in to the garden while he read over the news and morning reports on his tablet while  drinking coffee, waiting for Eggsy to wake up and join him.  
  
So, in keeping with that, Harry showered, dressed for his run, and let himself out in to the neighborhood. He was still trying to heed Roxy's advice, inwardly mocking himself whenever he felt the need to behave in an unacceptable (alpha) manner. Sometimes it worked and he didn't give in to the urge to stand up taller while staring down a strange alpha in the park. Other times Harry found himself on the steps to his little townhouse gasping for air because he'd tried outrunning a bloody car.  
  
This morning was one of the latter, unfortunately, which always put him in a bad mood. _Why did I give in? The man didn't even look at me! Top notch decision-making, Hart. You're lucky you don't have your old knees or you'd be in hospital after that silly little display._  
  
Irritated Harry opened the door and went to the kitchen with the intention of salvaging his morning. But instead of being met with relative calm and a wheezing pug he walked in to Eggsy sitting on the counter, chewing a piece of toast in the most obnoxious manner possible. There were eggs on the counter, a half-started batter, an open loaf of bread, and all manner of other things strewn about.  
  
The omega took another large bite of his toast - emphasizing the crunch, Harry's sure of it. "Morning."  
  
Trying to remain calm, to not snap at Eggsy even though he can see the crumbs gathered on the boy's sweats that he'll no doubt brush off on the ground when he's finished. _Christ, there are crumbs everywhere. It's a miracle we don't have an ant colony set up dead center._ Calmly - _calmly_! - Harry grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured himself some milk (making sure to put it away since it was just sitting out) and proceeded to count to twenty in his head.  
  
Eggsy kept crunching, already spreading butter on another piece of toast. Harry, from his position leaning up against the nearest counter, couldn't fail to notice that, yes, there were even crumbs in the butter and the jam. _Unbelievable_. "Must you get crumbs all over everything?"  
  
If he was expecting an apology, he was disappointed. Eggsy's brows lifted and his whole expression seemed to say 'who, me?' even as the bastard dipped the knife in the the jam (succeeding in getting a smear of butter in it) and applied a liberal amount of it to the slice of toast that had just popped out of the toaster. Harry could feel his left eye twitch.  
  
"Maybe you shouldn't use all the hot water." Of all the responses Harry had not been expecting that. _I can't believe this... this child is trying to blame me for something so ridiculous. That this little display is retaliation!_  
  
"It's not my fault you don't wake at a decent hour." The alpha's tone is decidedly chilled. Eggsy is, predictably, uncowed. He sets his toast on the counter. _On the bloody counter! Not even on a wretched plate!_  
  
And then Eggsy is raising his voice, smelling hurt and furious. "Well it's not my fault you practically run out of bed just to get away from me at six in the fucking morning, Harry!"  
  
No, he takes it back, _THAT_ was the most unexpected response. "That's... I do not!" For a moment he flounders, mouth sort of fluttering open and shut. _He can't be serious, he's just trying to derail my legitimate grievances._ One look at Eggsy, flushed and shaking, and he knows that's not the case. "That's exactly what you think, isn't it?" _How can you think that? How?_ "You're an idiot." Perhaps a deadpanned insult was _not_ the best way to go about informing Eggsy that Harry adored him, even if he got crumbs everywhere.  
  
"Fuck you." Kingsman had taught Eggsy a great deal about restraint. A pity Harry seems to possess the capacity to push the man to boiling over. And make no mistake, Eggsy was absolutely _livid_. He popped off the counter, fists balled up at his sides, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to hit Harry or run. Or both.  
  
"You're taking my being a morning person personally." Harry takes the time to set his glass down, crossing his arms while he studied the riled up omega before him. For once he's on board with his alpha instincts, which are demanding that he soothe Eggsy's hurt, comforting and assuring his mate that _of fucking course he loves him_. Likes him. Whatever.  
  
"Am not." The words are little boy sulky.  
  
Harry takes a slow, sure step forward. "Yes you are." Eggsy is staring at the ground so Harry lifts his chin, forces him to make eye contact.  
  
"Well what am I supposed to think?" He looks so uncertain, vulnerable in a way he rarely ever was (Eggsy was the first to admit weakness in his old neighborhood was a death warrant) that Harry presses a soft, chaste kiss on Eggsy's mouth.  
  
"That I am still an old man and rising early is just something grumpy old men do."  
  
For a minute they don't move, Eggsy weighing and measuring Harry's words before deciding that he must mean them and then the omega is pressed up against Harry, a flurry of heat and hands and low, unrestrained moans. Harry doesn't need instinct to tell him how to proceed from there though the practical side of him sighs.  
  
They were definitely going to be late to work. Again.


	8. Don't Be Ridiculous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry goes on his first mission since he became an alpha... it doesn't go well.

They were both in his office, going over assignments for the week and looking over possible threats, when Harry decided to implement his little... idea. "Merlin, this mission here, the information retrieval, it's from John Dailey, is it not?" Though he's careful to sound as though he's merely curious, Harry knows he's already given the game away before it's even begun. They've really known eachother much too long - as proved by the way the other man's eyes narrow.  
  
"Yes." The word comes out slowly and Harry has a hope that _maybe_ Merlin doesn't quite suspect what he's angling for after all. He waits for more information, which the Scot begrudgingly provides. "He's hosting a gala to show off his new mistress - she's an artist of some kind - that will provide the perfect opportunity to make sure he doesn't have any information on the Valentine tech that went missing."  
  
Harry taps a finger against his chin, as though he's just now thinking of something. "You know I went to school with the man, ages ago." Attention shifts to the tablet, pulling the mission up fully, pretending to be going over the details. _As though I haven't been reading them for half of the day._ "It wouldn't be hard for me to secure an invite."  
  
"I'm sending Lancelot." Merlin is in no mood to play along, apparently. _Still_.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous, Merlin." Harry willed Merlin to see the reason in it, to not fight him on this. He couldn't explain why this mission had jumped out at him, waving it's hands and yelling, but it _had_. And he knew he could do it, ease himself back in to life as Galahad... "Lancelot is very capable but we both know John is selective about who attends his gatherings, he likes to consider himself exclusive. She'd be noticed." All true.  
  
"Not if she's on someone's arm, surely there will be escorts there." It's as though they're having two conversations. Merlin's mouth turns down at the ends, the barest hint of annoyance which means he is _extremely_ unhappy with Harry's attempts to con him. Merlin could be stubborn that way, didn't like to be coerced. _Well, I'm stubborn too._  
  
"And you think John wouldn't tell security to keep an eye on those ladies?" Though his tone is the careful, modulated sound of a gentleman of leisure there's a hint of something dark under the neutral mask he wore. Something that didn't care to hear the word no. He excused himself for that, because it was true that John Dailey was a paranoid, greedy prick who had picked up enough prostitutes in his life to know to watch the silver. It was also true that Lancelot was exceptionally skilled and could easily win the man over.  
  
"Harry." _You aren't ready._  
  
"You know I am the perfect choice. You'd have sent me before." _You keep telling me that being an alpha hasn't changed me, that I'm still the same man you've known for half your life. Well. If I am that man you have to send me._  
  
"Yes, but things are... different now." _The old Harry wouldn't throw a colleague across the room because she invaded his personal space._  
  
Harry can see that thought, plain as day. He wants to howl in frustration because it isn't fair. "Honestly Merlin, I've been working very hard to learn how to control myself. This is the perfect chance to test how I'm doing and you know it. It's just a simple in and out, nothing complicated." _I refuse to be locked up at headquarters forever. I am not Chester King._  
  
"Fine, you and Lancelot can attend to together." The offer is a generous one, but Harry isn't willing to compromise He's sunk his teeth in and won't let go, not if he can help it.  
  
"No."  
  
"Then take Eggsy." It's clear the Scot is grasping now: he knows when Harry's not going to budge.  
  
"I need to do this alone, Merlin." _I need to know I'm still me._ His voice lowers, dark eyes focused on Merlin's stylus instead of his eyes. "Having him there might compromise the mission." The admission costs him but he's afraid if he doesn't draw that line Merlin might send the boy in after him and that would be a disaster... Eggsy could never go unnoticed in that particular circle of vultures and Harry knew he wouldn't be able to ignore that.  
  
"Harry, I don't think this is the right time to send you in the field."  
  
"Horseshit. You don't trust me."  
  
"I trust you with my life and you _know_ it, but we both know you don't have the control you need to be in the field yet."  
  
"I think that I do." It's an order, spoken in what Eggsy told him was his 'alpha' voice. If he uses that tone with his omega the boy is compelled to obey but this is the first time he's turned that new tool on Merlin. As a beta Harry had never had much to do with alphas outside of work and he can't ever recall an instance where he had been forced to follow a command but it's worth a try. "And I'm going to insist on this mission, Merlin."  
  
The magician swallows, nods.  
  
_Excellent_.  
  
\------  
  
Precisely eight hours and seventeen minutes later Harry was on the roof, out of ammo and waiting for an emergency evacuation. He was bleeding profusely but was more concerned by the fact that the body count was at fifteen and he didn't remember how it had happened. One minute he was picking out one of his more understated suits, texting Eggsy to tell him he would be late as he had a lot of paperwork to complete, and the next... fury. Unparalleled, uncontrollable, _impossible_.  
  
Well, that wasn't fair. The sequence of events was clear to him, it was his _reactions_ that were a blur of confusion. He'd arrived at the party, schmoozed as needed while scoping out the security team (with Merlin in his ear, concerned because those were not simple guards, counseling caution) and had intended to charm his way past a pair of matching, stone-faced men but it had gone all wrong. Instead of mildly rebuking them for questioning his presence he'd grabbed the hand that was currently on his arm, detaining him, and broke the man's arm. And then he'd smashed the other fellows face in - far too satisfied with the crunch he heard.  
  
On the bright side, he'd managed to get the intel. John Dailey didn't have Valentine tech at all but he _did_ have a rather nasty nuclear warhead that was now disabled. That had been easy, even with the steady fire from every damn direction. But Merlin couldn't find him a way out. There were too many hired killers and Harry had needed to improvise; he'd done so by blowing a whole in the ceiling, grateful for the grappling hook built in to his watch.  
  
"Just hang on Harry, two minutes." A pause. "They're coming for you, at least twenty men, all heavily armed. Take cover." Harry focuses on Merlin's voice, uses it to center himself, to step away from the flood of rage and adrenaline still coursing through his veins. He's very afraid that he's dancing on the fine edge between fury and going feral. "Fuck, they've got... is that a goddamn rocket launcher?"  
  
"Lovely."  
  
"Your ride is here, northeast corner of the building. You'll have to jump, Galahad." He's on the roof of a ten story building, there isn't time to look, running as fast as he can as the bastards come flying to the roof, opening fire. "Now!"  
  
Harry jumps.  
  
\------  
  
He blacks out at some point, coming to briefly in the back of the cargo van currently flooring it to the mansion. Someone is yelling, swearing about blood loss and stupid alphas. Harry might have felt the need to correct the young man's language but his vision is already going dark again. "Shit, he's fucking crashing again! Hurry the fuck up!"  
  
\------  
  
Harry wakes in a sterile room, surrounded by the highly trained Kingsman medical staff, which is a relief. He always hated when his injuries were severe enough that he was forced in to a regular hospital - that he was at headquarters meant he wasn't in any mortal danger. Unfortunately, once he had ascertained that he was going to live, Harry's mind latched on the the failed mission.  
  
In his lifetime he has dealt with many such situations. Bad information, betrayal, random explosives... it came with the territory. But it was the first time where he was directly responsible for the chaos since Lee Unwin jumped on that grenade. _Merlin was right. I made a fucking mess of a mission even a raw recruit could have done half asleep._  
  
Brooding as he was, refusing to give more than curt yes or no answers, it wasn't much of a surprise that he missed the sudden entrance of Eggsy until the man was right there next to him, smelling distressed and looking like he'd been gutshot.  
  
"Fuck Harry, you're all chewed up!" He's got a hand on Harry's cheek, green eyes overbright with concern. "Since when do asshole art dealers have bodyguards with armor piercing rounds!?"  
  
"I've survived worse. You're in the way, Eggsy." The boy stepped back so the nurse could reach Harry's arm but he didn't leave.

"Well you shoulda told me! If you're gonna get blown up or shot at you should tell me. It's what mates do, innit?"  
  
It's almost too easy to stop being angry with himself, to shift the blame to the boy at his side. "I am capable of handling myself, I'm not an invalid."  
  
"I didn't say that, but you've gotta be careful-" Eggsy's eyes go wide, shocked because Harry sounds so _bitter_.  
  
"I don't need you to fucking coddle me." It's happening again, somehow Harry's control is gone and he's yelling. He blames Eggsy for that too. _Everything was fine until you came in to my life._  
  
"Harry I'm just worried you're-"  
  
"That I'm what? Not able to complete a simple mission without a nursemaid?" There's an omega nurse on his left, looking back and forth between them uncertainly. He can feel her eyes on him, heavy with judgement. Harry ignores her just as he ignores the other bodies in the room. They might as well be white noise.  
  
Eggsy's voice lowers, softer now, cajoling. Pretending he isn't hurt. _Ah, guilty because you forgot that I'm an alpha now and not at fault for behaving like a barbarian?_ Harry almost wishes Eggsy would yell back. "Hey, hey that's not what I'm saying at all. Sometimes shit goes tits up. But you can't keep doing this to me-"  
  
"I may not be a _beta_ any longer, but I am your _boss_ and your _alpha_. I also spent decades without you and can certainly manage just fine now." The room is quiet. All but one of the doctors have filed out of the room and the one left behind is very careful to ignore the shouting match even if he looks like he wants to intervene.  
  
"Harry..." Pain. That's pain blooming across Eggsy's face. "Just let me take care of you, that's all."  
  
"That's rich, _you_ taking care of _me_. I don't need you and I don't want you here so get the hell out. I'm not like you, I don't need bloody saving or somebody cleaning up my messes! I don't need to constantly be rescued from stupid decisions!" The door is opening but Harry doesn't look to see who it is. He's drowning in a hurricane of emotions, plucking anger out of the bunch because it's the easiest to feel. It's safe.

"I said leave, that's an order." His voice is icy, brutal even.  
  
Eggsy finally snaps and Harry has the shouting match he thought he wanted. "You want me gone? _Fine_ , I'm fucking gone." Some part of Harry is screaming that this is wrong, that he's acting like the worst kind of jackass, but he squelches it down. _I have every right to be upset! I'm bleeding and my life is a nightmare._  
  
Instead of regret Harry turns away from the sight of Eggsy flying out of the room. He tells himself those weren't tears in the boy's eyes and instead indulges in a flare of annoyance. _Wonderful. Now I'll have to placate the bloody fool later. It's so like him to be dramatic, to make this about him. Positively juvenile, really._  
  
When he looks up again, Merlin is there, eyebrow raised. Harry dares him to say one word about the argument but mercifully Merlin restricts his questions to the mission. If he notices how roughly the medical stuff is handling the alpha (Harry winces when the nurse stabs an iv in to his arm without warning) he doesn't comment. With Eggsy out of the room Harry is clinging to his anger by the skin of his teeth... afraid of letting it go, now, because with the way everyone in the room is regarding him he's just done something awful.  
  
The doctor (an older beta with reproach in her eyes) sews him back together while he recounts everything he can remember to Merlin. He can hear one of the nurses muttering under her breath, _if my alpha treated me like that I'd kill him_. Harry pointedly refuses to acknowledge that he's in the wrong but once he's been debriefed, the last of his wounds treated, he's alone in the room with Merlin.  
  
It's the first time he can scent the other man he's surprised that his oldest friend smells ready to rip him in to pieces.  
  
"What."  
  
"You might want to head out, Harry."  
  
"Oh?" It's childish and he knows it, but the nursing staff neglected to give him anything for the pain and everything he's said is lurking at the edges of everything, threatening to overwhelm him with self-loathing.  
  
"I'm saying this as your friend: if you don't go after him, now, he's not going to be there when you've calmed down."  
  
Harry growls - _growls_! - and narrows his eyes, not liking even the vaguest hint that Eggsy will leave him. "Are you suggesting I am at fault for his little tantrum?"  
  
" _His_ tantrum? Really Harry?" That seems to have done it. Merlin closes the distance between them, looking angrier than Harry has ever seen the man, fists balled up at his sides as though he doesn't trust himself not to throw a punch. "Pull your head out of your fucking arse."  
  
"Excuse you?"  
  
"I know you. You're getting ready to throw a first class pity party for yourself because something went wrong and you hate that. No, don't try and argue with me. I don't want to hear it right now. You find that boy and you apologize." Logical Harry wonders at the vehemence in Merlin's voice. Alpha Harry wants to launch himself at the man and tear his bloody throat out because he's talking about Eggsy, defending Eggsy, and Eggsy is _his_.  
  
"My personal life is none of your business."  
  
"Then don't come crying to me when he's done with you."  
  
Harry's alpha instincts flare and he sits up, not liking that idea at _all_ and posturing (even though it's tugging at the stitches in his side) without thinking. "He can't run from me, Merlin. He'll wait." He sounds so sure but the last scraps of his anger are burning away when faced with the idea that he's fucked up more than a mission.  
  
"You think so?"  
  
With that, Merlin turned on his heel and left Harry alone with his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments! I had a hard time getting this chapter done, it just kept getting longer and longer so I'd gone ahead and split it up. Stay tuned for more poor decisions, a new Arthur, and more Percival because I am weak.


	9. Where is He?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy goes off the grid, determined to show Harry that he doesn't care. Harry might realize he's done something terrible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I lied, the other parts (with Percy and the new Arthur) just didn't work well here so I moved them further ahead. I promise we'll get to it!

Eggsy hurts, like nothing he ever felt in this life. Worse than anything Dean could ever do to him, worse than watching his mum doped out on the sofa, drugging her pain. It's so much worse because Harry was his _mate_. He fucking _loved_ him. He'd have done anything for the bastard without even questioning it - and Eggsy was not a man who gave away his loyalty easily. _Fat lot of good it did me, trusting Harry. Thinking he'd be different. He's just like fucking the rest of them rich knobs._  
  
He's moving almost blindly, his chest is aching. _Can't stop._ It's a surprise that there isn't a gaping hole there but there isn't time to stop, to think. He knows if he stops he won't get back up, that the sobs he's choking on will come out and there won't be any holding back. He knows too, that if he stays where Harry can find him the man will come looking. Maybe it's selfish, but Eggsy doesn't want to be found. Doesn't want to see that kicked-puppy look on Harry's face, the one that says he knows he's a massive fuck up and he's awful sorry.  
  
 _Fuck him._ Eggsy doesn't want his fucking apologies.  
  
Instead he finds himself in the massive hangar where Kingsman keeps it's planes and cars. There are actually nine levels to the place, but the surface level is the showiest, with the fanciest cars you can think of. He passes by all that chrome and gleaming paint, heading for the mechanic's bay. He'd like nothing more than to nab a car but he knows he doesn't have any missions coming up and Merlin can track him if he takes a Kingsman vehicle anyway.  
  
It's easy to find Ryan, crawling out from under a beastly looking truck. "We're going out tonight. Meet me in an hour?"

Eggsy has been best friends with Ryan (and Jamal) since they were little sprouts pretending they weren't scared of the dark, showing off bruises from fathers and "uncles" like they were brave... which is why Ryan doesn't ask him any stupid questions. Roxy would have, she'd have seen how lost he was and would have dragged him to her flat and bullied the truth out of him but that wasn't what he wanted or needed. And Ryan got that.  
  
"Yeah, got about twenty minutes here, a quick shower and I'll be there." He paused, brown eyes settling on Eggsy's glasses before drifting down to his pocket - the one with his mobile. He doesn't say anything but Eggsy reads him loud and clear: if he wants off the grid those items need to go. He's already got plans to ditch everything he's currently wearing on the off chance there's trackers built in to his suit. You never knew with Kingsman.  
  
"Brilliant." Then he's turning on his heel - _gotta keep moving, can't stop, can't let them find me_ \- and leaving. An hour later and he's on the steps of Harry's townhouse, ready and dressed like he's back on the estates. Everything is new, down to a pair of wicked trainers he'd impulsively bought on the way home, stupidly thinking that the purchase would cheer him.  
  
It didn't, of course. Nothing did. He felt sick. He felt like he was fucking _dying_.  
  
But Ryan was there, always reliable, ready to follow him anywhere. It reminded Eggsy of all the times the three of them would go out to clubs, trading on their rough edges to get in with people who could afford to party properly. Eggsy was the pretty one, with the lure of bein' an omega. Jamal had been the impish one, clever and quick and fierce, an alpha but not a knothead. Ryan had completed the set, a whip-smart beta with the lightest fingers in London who knew had to play the gaunt, tragic poet to the extreme. It was fun. They all knew they were just playing pretend, escaping from their own hells, and what was more is that they knew without even a sliver of a doubt that they would always protect eachother.  
  
Which was why Ryan was here now, ready to help Eggsy forget without any pressure to explain. "Right. We're off then." Upstairs Eggsy had left his glasses folded carefully on the dresser next to the mobile he'd been instructed to never, _ever_ leave behind or turn off. Like everything Kingsman-issued and modified by Merlin, the phone never needed to be charged and could be used in the event of an emergency to do all kinds of things. Turning it off was sending a very clear fucking message.  
  
Together they made their way to their old stomping grounds, laughing, shoving at eachother like they were back in the days before Kingsman. Eggsy wished he could have sprung Jamal from the dormitory but he didn't want to get him in any trouble - not to mention Jamal very likely would have felt the need to do something on Eggsy's behalf, and he didn't want that. He was so sick of alpha bullshit, and even if he loved Jamal like a brother there was no denying his friend was _all_ alpha when it came to protecting his own.  
  
 _Harry could learn a thing or too from Jamal. No, I'm not fucking thinking of him. If he don't want me around that's fine, that's fucking aces. I don't need him. Let him bleed all over the place and get a bunch of stupid scars for his trouble. Never let it be said that Eggsy Unwin stays when he ain't wanted._  
  
After getting past the pissy looking doorman who looked them over like he was any better than them - _which, fuck off mate_ \- Eggsy headed straight for the bar with the intention of getting absolutely shitfaced. He wanted to be so plastered that he didn't even know his own name and Ryan downed shots right alongside him. Blearly, after what had to be his fourth shot of cheap tequila in an hour, Eggsy told himself that he'd missed this. He almost believed it, too, as he dragged Ryan on the the dance floor.  
  
Two hours later, maybe three, his heart didn't feel like it was burning in his chest. It was a start. Ryan was sitting in one of the booths with a leggy blonde in his lap but Eggsy, aside from trips to the bar to make sure he stayed good and drunk, didn't leave the dance floor. He just let himself go, not caring who was touching him, grinding against him. At some point a gorgeous bloke with the bluest eyes Eggsy had ever _seen_ offered him a line and he hesitated, letting the guy run his hands up and down his side. _You know what? Fuck it. Fuck Harry. Fuck Kingsman._  
  
Of course Blue Eyes seemed to think that entitled him to a piece of Eggsy and he had to be shut down pretty fucking hard in the loo, but Eggsy was soaring. He didn't care about anything, didn't even feel it when he broke the fucker's nose and told him to back off before he tore something important off. Ryan was there as backup (as Eggsy knew he would be) but he wasn't needed. Kingsman had taught Eggsy a thing or two about taking care of himself.  
  
At the end of the night, what was more like early morning, they both staggered home to Ryan's new flat and crashed. He thought about texting Rox from Ryan's phone, letting her know where he was at, but he was starting to come down now and that always made Eggsy feel like shit so he didn't. _Not like anybody cares where I am anyway, 'cept for Ryan and Jamal. Even my mum don't give a damn._ That wasn't true and some distant part of his mind knew it... but he didn't care. Didn't _want_ to care. His last thought before passing out is that he needed to call Vincent when he got up: he didn't want to be sober, not if he had a choice, and Vincent owed him.  
  
\------  
  
Ordinarily Harry wouldn't have been released until morning but it seemed that everyone on working in the medical wing was all too happy to be rid of him. That smarted, a little, because he knew why the men and women he'd previously gotten along well with suddenly wanted nothing to do with him, but he told himself it didn't matter. That their opinions had no merit. He was most certainly in his coldly aloof mode, a side Eggsy would have recognized from when he'd failed the dog test, which only seemed to happen when he was trying to protect himself from hurt.  
  
All the way back home the feeling of increasing dread threatened to consume him, but he pushed it back, telling himself that he hadn't behaved that out of hand. That they'd just had a little spat, nothing to fret over. Eggsy might yell at him, but Harry would apologize and they'd move on. There was nothing he wanted more than to fall asleep curled protectively around his mate. _He'll understand, he always does. I just got a little frustrated, that's all, and Merlin needling me didn't help. Maybe, maybe I said some things I shouldn't have, but I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it and Eggsy knows that. He has to know that._  
  
Harry prayed that he knew that.  
  
Four hours later, sitting in the dining room with the lights all out in their painfully empty home, Harry realized he'd been deluding himself. Eggsy most certainly was _not_ at home waiting with tear-stained cheeks and angry words. He also was _not_ answering his phone and after the first hour Harry broke, using his tablet to activate the tracker only to discover said phone upstairs, turned off and intentionally left behind. And god, how that hurt.  
  
Harry might have begun to worry then, sitting on the bed holding of all things a tie left abandoned on the floor, staring as though he could glean some answers from it. Finally, when he couldn't take it any more - when every instinct he had was _screaming_ that he needed to find Eggsy now, before it was too late - Harry called a car to take him to Michelle's. Never mind the late hour or the fact that the woman lived forty minutes away. He needed to see his mate, to assure himself that he was okay, and the urge was overwhelming. For once he didn't even fight it, knee bouncing with impatience the entire ride over.  
  
When he rang the bell he expected to see the blonde omega and assumed that she would rake him over the coals for upsetting her boy. He was prepared for that, willing to take whatever punishment she doled out so long as he could fix things with Eggsy. Only when Michelle answered the door, yawning and in her robe, she didn't seem furious. If anything she looked confused and then worried but Harry forged ahead despite that. "Forgive me, I know it's very late but I need to speak with him. It's very important."  
  
Blue eyes blinked sleepily at him, before clearing in understanding. "...I'm sorry Harry, but Eggsy, he ain't here. I haven't heard from him in a few days." The look her her eyes seems to scream _what did you do to my boy._  
  
"Oh." It's all he can think to say, knowing he has to respond but everything he'd intended to say has been derailed by the fact that Eggsy wasn't there after all. Which begged the question: _where was he?_ "Im' sorry, I thought he might- well, that is to say-" _Christ, babbling like a schoolboy._  
  
Sympathy lines her face. "Would you like to come in? I can make-" He can't take sympathy, not from this woman who has endured so much. Who is looking at him like something more than a fight between lover's has happened. _No. We've had a fight but all couples argue. That's all. He has every right to be upset with me, but we're mated. No one walks away from that._ As if to spite him Harry's mind brings up Eggsy's face, the way he'd looked at Harry like he was a stranger. If anyone could walk away from something as permanent as a mating bond, it would be Eggsy.  
  
 _No. I won't let that happen._  
  
"I couldn't possibly intrude. Please, forgive me for disturbing you." He turns, unable to take in that soft look that seems to say you've lost him.  
  
\------  
  
The driver drops him off at home but Harry just stands on the steps, fighting the urge to storm back to the mansion. He wants to drag Jamal out by his collar, to demand the boy take him anywhere and everywhere that Eggsy might be, but he's reluctant to admit that he's colossally fucked up, especially to another alpha - one who considers Eggsy family. Instead he opens the door and sinks down on the couch, clinging to the small hope that the omega is just letting off some steam and will be back. _And I'm going to wait for him._  
  
In the morning he wakes, his entire body protesting. He'd almost forgotten what it was like to be so out of sorts in the morning but one night on the sofa was enough to make him grateful for the fact that the aches and pains he was experiencing now were only temporary.  
  
Without question, Harry is utterly miserable and suitably repentant as he heads upstairs and gets ready for the day. He doesn't need his enhanced sense of smell to know Eggsy didn't come home last night and, now that he isn't stuck in the moment, he's absolutely _horrified_ by the things he said. _I'm supposed to love him! To take care of him! And instead I hurt him._ That look of hurt, the slash of cutting pain, haunts him all the way to the shop. He just keeps thinking about how afraid Eggsy had been. _'You can't keep doing this to me'. My dear boy, what a monster I am to keep hurting you this way._  
  
He spends half the day in his office, periodically calling Eggsy's cell (which remains off) and Merlin's office (who is refusing his calls). He'd hoped that his mate would be at work, might stumble in with Roxy, but he doesn't come in at all and Harry feels too shamed to ask if anyone has seen him. It's only when he finds out that Roxy is in Berlin that his worry begins to grow. _What if something happened to him? What if he was hurt? What if someone took him?_  
  
Harry tells himself to be reasonable, that Eggsy is a highly skilled secret agent who wouldn't just get kidnapped out of the blue, but when he comes home to an empty house and a downhearted little pug he can't quell the sudden spike of panic. He caves and calls Merlin, again and again, until the Scot answers. "What Harry."  
  
"I can't find Eggsy. He's not with his mother, he isn't here or at HQ, his glasses are at home and he left his mobile as well, turned off." Harry forces himself to stop, tamping down the fear in his gut. "I'm afraid something happened to him."  
  
"I did tell you." Merlin sounds more resigned than worried and Harry clings to that. _Eggsy is okay, nobody has him, nobody's hurting him but me._  
  
"I know. There's no excuse for how I behaved, alpha or not."  
  
"I can find him but... if he doesn't want to be found, I'm not going to tell you."  
  
"I understand. I just need to know he's okay."  
  
Harry waits, his vigil made less lonely by JB, who is curled up in his lap and snoring. _Please be okay Eggsy._


	10. Ruined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin tracks down Eggsy, Roxy is livid, and Eggsy is... not doing well. At all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'd, so apologies for any errors!

It doesn't take a genius to know that Eggsy has gone to ground and that there are an unlimited number of dens for him to be hidden in, which is why Merlin doesn't bother trying to trace him. Much easier to cut straight to the heart of the matter: if he isn't with his mother or Lancelot, then one of two people know where he is and Merlin is confident that one of those individuals is too busy with training to deal with hiding a distressed omega. That left Ryan Stafford, the beta mechanic Eggsy had known since boyhood - their new Gawain was angry, but he wasn't cruel, even licking his wounds he'd make sure someone knew where to find him.  
  
Honestly, even half out of his mind, drowning in regret, Harry should have figured that out.  
  
Merlin could have summoned the boy but it was much simpler to make his way to the mechanics bay; not that he'd ever admit it, but Merlin wasn't so sure Ryan would even come if called. Hence, going to him. First and foremost Merlin was responsible for ensuring his agents were well and he couldn't risk his only lead on Eggsy slipping away. And he very well might in the name of loyalty. _I swear, I never thought I'd prefer selfish bastards to the unbreakable loyalty of these street kids. They complicate bloody everything._  
  
The man in question was currently under the hood of a particularly gorgeous Aston Martin, muttering to himself (or the car) about taking care of things right proper. He didn't notice the hush falling around them, his fellow mechanics quietly filing out after a curt nod from Merlin, until it was too late.  
  
Merlin waited, idly checking up on a few things until he noticed Ryan's shoulders tense up. _Well boy, are you going to run or face me?_ After a moment the too-thin beta turned, squaring his shoulders and meeting Merlin's gaze without hesitation. It raised him up a notch or two, in Merlin's estimation. "Can I help you, sir?" His voice is carefully neutral, respectful but not fawning, and those blue eyes are definitely wary.  
  
"I won't insult you by pretending you don't know why I'm here."  
  
Ryan leaned back against the car, arms crossed and expression closed off. "I don't have anything to say."  
  
_I expected as much._ "I am asking in a professional capacity if you know the whereabouts of Gawain, Mr. Stafford." Merlin pauses for effect, already aware of how little that would mean to a pup like Ryan, ready to go down swinging in order to protect his friend. His family by choice. Honestly Merlin admires that about him, about all three of them - it's refreshing to see true dedication, even if it's also very frustrating. "I have no intention of informing Galahad of anything Gawain does not want him to know. This is strictly about ensuring Gawain's safety."  
  
"Like you won't tell 'em. He's your boss, ain't he?"  
  
"I haven't listened to Harry Hart in over twenty years, young man. And at the moment I don't particularly think he deserves to know where Eggsy is at in the first place." Strange, the thread of anger in his voice, the way his hands tighten around his clipboard. He's feeling angry again, angrier than he feels he ought to be. It isn't a comfortable feeling for Merlin but now isn't the time to puzzle out the why of it all.  
  
He isn't sure what does it, but Ryan finally nods and stands up straight. "He's at my place. Didn't want to go home." He shrugs, as though that was all that mattered to him. It probably was. "Didn't ask why, but... he's hurt. I'm worried what he might do." He doesn't have to say the specifics outright - Merlin knew all about Eggsy's old habits.  
  
"I understand." Ordinarily Merlin would have left it at that, played it stoic and mysterious, but he feels compelled to be honest with the other beta. "I'm worried as well, which is why I am going to make sure he does not. I'll be sending someone to collect him." He's already sending off a message to the recently returned Lancelot, knowing she's the only one he can trust with this. She won't let Harry bully her.  
  
"What? No! You can't-" Ryan is already moving towards him, angry and hurt, thinking he'd just betrayed his friend. Merlin cuts him off before he gets too worked up.  
  
"No, Mr. Stafford, _you_ can't, because he's your friend. I am his boss, he can hate me if he likes, but I'm not letting him ruin himself over this. He's better than that." The beta stops, fists balled at his side, clearly torn between the desire to protect Eggsy from Kingsman... and the need to protect Eggsy from himself. A minute passes. The tension drains from Ryan's body and his shoulders slump, giving in to the latter.  
  
"You're right."  
  
"I am always right, Mr. Stafford." The other beta snorts, scoffing at Merlin's superior attitude. He lets it pass. "I promise to keep you informed." And with that he turns, confident that Roxy will contact him once she has Eggsy. He just hopes it isn't too late to repair the damage.  
  
\-----  
  
Roxy isn't sure what has happened, exactly, only that she's supposed to be fetching Eggsy from a strange address and has been warned to tell no one. Unfortunately, while she might not know the details, she's clever enough to figure out something has _clearly_ gone wrong with Harry. _So help me, I can't even be gone for a day or two without everyone being bloody stupid. Merlin wouldn't even tell me why, exactly, Eggsy even needs to be brought home. I hope he isn't hurt._  
  
She knocks briskly on the door, taking a step back and surveying the neighborhood. It's just this side of respectable, not an area she's ever had cause to frequent, but it seems an odd place for a safehouse... if that's even what it is.  
  
After a few moments without an answer she knocks again, louder this time. She can hear shuffling inside, what sounds like a table falling over. It has her concerned that Eggsy really is hurt and can't come to the door so she quickly picks the lock and heads inside, surprised that she's in what looks like someone's apartment. To the left there's an open archway that leads to a living room. The coffee table is knocked over, a glass of what smells like cheap whiskey is spilled on the carpet and there are various empty bottles and even a few needles on the ground. It looks like the aftermath of some heavy partying.  
  
And in the middle of all that mess is Eggsy, very drunk, _very_ high, and unable to fucking sit up, apparently.  
  
"You stupid idiot." She crosses the room, helping him sit on the floor, legs sprawled out lazily in front of him. Roxy wants to smack him upside the head and start screaming, but she resists just by the skin of her teeth. Instead she curses Merlin for not preparing her even as she taps the side of her glasses.  
  
"Roooox! You's an angel you is, hand to god." Eggsy reaches a hand out, trying to touch her cheek and falling in to her lap in the process. _When you're sober, I just might kill you for this._  
  
She pats him absently, glad when Merlin answers immediately. _Thank fuck for that._ "Merlin? Merlin he's on something, maybe more than one something. There's needles here, some alcohol, Christ is that powder on your nose? Dammit Eggsy what did you do?"  
  
Of course the omega is all but boneless, slipping down again, so she puts Merlin on speaker, wondering if he can scare Eggsy enough to keep him upright until they can get him medical care even as her alpha instincts drive her in to checking him over. His knuckles are bruises and bloody but nothing seems broken. Underneath the chemicals and alcohol, he smells... _hurt_ , so very hurt. It's _awful_. She's never smelled anything like it in her life and it dampens her anger. _My poor darling, what has Harry **done** to you?_  
  
"You little shit. Here I am worried half to death and you're back to slumming it? One fight and you're what, whoring yourself for drugs?" Merlin sounds on edge, which is unusual. Generally the man shows about as much emotion as a rock.  
  
Eggsy doesn't seem particularly deterred by the angry brogue berating him for his behavior. "Nah, nah Merlin. Not like that t'all."  
  
"I should suspend your sorry hide for this."  
  
Just like that, Eggsy is crying. _Sobbing_. "Please, please don't." It's the most heartbroken sound Roxy can even imagine and she feels helpless, rubbing little circles on his back and making soft, soothing noises. She doesn't know what she's supposed to do. "...Merlin?" _I don't know what to do. This... I don't know how to fix this, how to make it right._  
  
They're both quiet, uncertain how to proceed in the face of Eggsy's grief. Because that's what it sounds like, it's as though somebody _died_. Finally, Merlin speaks, deciding for all of them. Roxy is glad - it doesn't sit well with her, feeling like she doesn't have a solution. "Bring him home."  
  
The omega's response is instant, bolting upright only to fall over before he manages to take a step, resorting to half-dragging himself backwards. "No! I ain't going back there. Nuh uh, not on your life. Rather be dead."  
  
"Eggsy don't say that!" Distress is coming off him in waves and Roxy does her best release calming pheromones, easily pulling him back in her arms. He's not in much of a state to resist her.  
  
"He hates me. Don't even, even want-" He's practically _choking_ on the painful little gasps tearing out of his mouth as, though he's hurting to much to even cry. _Fuck_.  
  
"Roxy, can you take him to your flat?" Though he can't see it Roxy tilts her head, confused. She knows Harry is probably (definitely) to blame for the misery her best friend is in, but surely she should take Eggsy back to Harry so they can work it out? (preferably after she bashes his thick skull in a bit)  
  
"Yes, of course. But shouldn't we take him to Har-" But Merlin is cutting her off before she can even say the name, which is a blessing considering the way Eggsy whimpers.  
  
"No, absolutely _not_. This is his fault in the first place."  
  
\-----  
  
It takes nearly an hour but she finally tucks Eggsy in to her bed and is able to slip away, immediately calling Merlin while fixing herself a stiff drink. "You know, if it were me you'd have me running laps around the mansion until I puked."  
  
There's a dry laugh on the other end, but it's clearly strained. Roxy doesn't need to see him to know he's not doing well. Whatever is happening is clearly effecting more than just Harry and Eggsy. It's taking every single ounce of willpower she has not to find their _dear_ Galahad and tear him in to a hundred pieces for hurting Eggsy like this. For not being there to make it better.  
  
"That's very true. Ordinarily I'd do the same to him but... you weren't there, Roxy." He sounds so tired, so defeated. It isn't like him at all. Then again she's so worked up she's pacing in front of her sofa and that isn't like her either so they're both out of sorts. "Harry said some terrible things to him."  
  
"I presume you told him as much? Because if you didn't I might have to remedy that right before I hurt him for this. I've never _seen_ Eggsy like this, he's... he's _ruined_. He cried himself to sleep. It was awful." She doesn't mention the pull in her gut, the demand to find Harry and make him see what he's done. To make him _bleed_ for it.  
  
"Believe me, he knows." Merlin sighs heavily, but doesn't elaborate. When he speaks again his voice is sharper than it had been before. Colder. "I don't have to tell you that Harry is not to be told where Eggsy is unless Eggsy gives his permission, correct?"  
  
Roxy finds herself smiling at that. It is not a nice smile. "With the way I'm feeling towards Harry he'd better not even _look_ at me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry for the massive delay on this chapter. I took November off for Nano but then I just lost my inspiration for everything, even though I basically had this written out. Having to restructure things didn't help since I hate that. Anyway I should be back to updating this regularly again, might start out with small updates rather than large ones but I don't really know just yet and... enjoy?
> 
> Also please don't kill me for making the egg child sad!


	11. Something Peculiar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry very much regrets everything, Eggsy makes a change, a new Arthur is elected and Merlin is beginning to be suspicious in regards to his own feelings on the Eggsy/Harry situation.

When Harry returned home, downtrodden Pug in tow, Eggsy wasn't there. He knew better than to expect it. Merlin had sent him a tersely worded text confirming that Eggsy hadn't been kidnapped or otherwise endangered but other than that was back to ignoring any attempts Harry made at contact. And he wasn't the only one. Yet part of him had impossibly _hoped_...  
  
He should have known better, really. Word had already spread about what happened, he knew it had, because he'd been the recipient of some rather nasty looks all day - which was why he had slunk away early, back to his cold, empty little house to wait for Eggsy to come home, or call him, or set the neighborhood on fire. For something. _Anything_.  
  
At his feet JB huffed and wheezed until Harry let the spoiled little creature up on the couch where he proceeded to plop down right in Harry's lap and snore. _Incorrigible thing_. Ordinarily Harry wouldn't have indulged him, wouldn't have even brought him to work, but he was clinging to the idea that even if - _if_ \- Eggsy had left for good he'd still come back for JB. It was a faint hope, but it was all he had.  
  
 _Christ, what a mess._  
  
The next day, the next few days, were painfully the same. He'd wake up after drunkenly passing out on the couch with a stiff back and a pounding headache, then he'd get ready for work and try not to be disappointed when Eggsy wasn't there. Then, when the cold shoulder was too much for his guilty heart to take he'd go back home and repeat the process.  
  
After four days, Lancelot finally approached him.  
  
She seemed absolutely brimming with fury - though her restrain was downright terrifying - which was highly unusual for the unflappable girl but she bother to speak a word, merely held out her hand for JB's leash. It was a demand but for once Harry's instincts to be _bigger-better-best_ didn't flare up. He handed the dog over without a fight, knowing it was his only link to Eggsy but unable to keep him when he knew it had to be making his mate unhappy to be parted from the wrinkly beastie.  
  
That day when he came home his heart stuttered, the smell of Eggsy meeting him almost immediately. _Eggsy_. The world, which had suddenly gone from dull greys to brilliant colors, had decided to offer him yet another kindness and Harry found himself smiling and following the smell, intent on prostrating himself at his mate's feet when (belatedly) his mind acknowledged that the scent wasn't fresh. Eggsy had been home, but he wasn't there now. He'd left.  
  
Harry foolish heart _refused_ to believe that, carried him up the stairs and down the hall with determination even though he knew - _he knew_ \- what he'd find. Rather, what he wouldn't find. He knew, but he still hoped. _Please just let him be there. I don't care if he's furious I don't care if he shoots me just let him be here._ But when he pushed the door open there was no Eggsy. Worse: the closet door was open, revealing empty shelves and hangers where Eggsy's things had been only this morning. Harry didn't want to believe it, stepped closer as though it was a damned illusion that he could break if he just- if he-  
  
Eggsy had left him. Really left him. _Oh god_. He couldn't even think, sinking to the ground and curling up on the space that once housed Eggsy's ridiculous shoes. _He's gone._  
  
\----  
  
"Thanks Rox, for letting me stay. I just couldn't-" Eggsy stumbled over the words, still so not used to asking for anything. It made him uncomfortable and reminded him of all the times charity hadn't been a choice. When the difference between Daisy having formula and nappies meant smiling and swallowing down all those awful feelings of helplessness and failure. But this was... it was different. Roxy was _helping_ him, not giving him a handout.  
  
"Really Eggsy, it isn't any trouble at all." She hung up the last of his suits - actually she'd come in about an hour ago and started to hang up all of them when she saw how hard it was for Eggsy to even _look_ at the damn things without crying - and turned around with a flourish. "So, I'm thinking takeaway and a movie to celebrate the fact that I am this close from winning over your dog for good."  
  
Grinning, Eggsy tossed a sock at her. "Oh is that how it's going to be?" Naturally Roxy tossed it back and the sock war was _on_.  
  
On the bed JB bounced around and barked, sometimes leaping up at the cotton projectiles passing over his head, clearly not sure what was going on other than people where suddenly throwing socks and saying his name which always made him wiggle excitedly. It was enough to keep Eggsy smiling even after he collapsed on the bed next to Roxy a few minutes later, too exhausted from laughing to keep the pug from licking at his face. "If he gets fat so help me Rox I'll box your ears."  
  
Unrepentant she poked at his ribs and gave JB a smooch on the nose. "You're the one who feeds him bacon under the table!"  
  
"If I don't he looks so sad!"  
  
Roxy rolled her eyes. "He's a dog, Eggsy, it's called begging. He probably learned that whole puppy dog eyes thing from you anyway." From his position on the floor, sitting properly like the well-mannered creature he was, Roxy's poodle Kip chuffed, too dignified to engage with either of them.  
  
"It's not my fault I'm adorable." His tone was mock offended.  
  
"You mean obnoxious." JB yipped in agreement.  
  
"Hey you, you're supposed to be on my side, not agreeing with that lot!"  
  
\----  
  
"So we're all agreed, then? Marcus will be our new Arthur?" Merlin took the time to meet the eyes of each of the knights before nodding his head and confirming the vote. It hadn't taken very long for everyone to agree. Before V-Day, before Kentucky, it was likely that Harry would have been a candidate as well (though he wouldn't have liked it, he found paperwork beneath him) but now it had been between Percival, who probably _dreamed_ about spreadsheets, and gruff Bors who no doubt would have had a heart attack to avoid the nomination if he could have pulled it off without a trip to medical and retaliation from Merlin.  
  
Naturally, Percival was elected.  
  
Eggsy vanished before they could properly disperse, disappearing with a skill that was admirable even if it was rather rude. Not that Merlin didn't understand. He glanced at Harry from the corner of his eye, watching the man sink despondently in to his chair. Ordinarily, Merlin would have said something dry and clever that might have snapped the other man out of it... but he wasn't so inclined. Which was oddly troubling in and of itself.  
  
Merlin was, without a doubt, a brilliant man. He held several degrees and prided himself on his ability to understand anything if he actually tried. And one thing he knew, or had thought he'd known, was himself. But he wasn't acting like genius, rational beta he'd always considered himself to be, not lately, or at least not in regards to the situation between Eggsy and Harry.  
  
He could understand being angry, but the white-hot rage he felt on behalf of their new Gawain was... it was extremely out of character for him; almost made him believe he'd managed to be pack bonded to the omega, but that couldn't be correct.  
  
Eggsy was already confirmed to have a pack bond with Jamal and Ryan, and packs never got much bigger than that, if they were formed at all. They also did not break or later add in new members, it just didn't happen. If a pack bond formed, it was all at once, and the largest pack bond recorded was three, not including the omega's alpha, so there was simply no way that the boy had managed to latch on to Merlin. It wasn't possible.  
  
Still, he'd noticed that Roxy was behaving strangely as well. Perhaps it was worth looking in to?  
  
Beside him Percival - Arthur, now - cleared his throat. "Once my clearance has gone through, I'd like to go through Chester's old files. I want to be sure he wasn't up to anything else we aren't currently aware of and I know there's already a great deal on your plate."  
  
"Yes, of course. You should be approved within the hour." _No, it's not a pack bond. Maybe something else, but not that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I don't like this chapter. I've rewritten/overedited and generally obsessed about it for three days and it still feels like clunky, awkward filler to me, but at this point it just needed to get posted, so I am sorry it's not that great. Anyway, hope you all had a wonderful New Years!
> 
> (Also I didn't really explain last chapter why Ryan said Harry is Merlin's "boss" and in retrospect it does come off a little weird since, really, who the hell thinks anybody is Merlin's boss... but Ryan is still new and the hiearchy at Kingsman is murky at best. He doesn't really know WHO is in charge - especially because they had no Arthur at the time - only that Merlin is scary and Harry acts like he owns the world.)


	12. It's Rather Obvious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy is definitely in time out and Harry is reminded of the obvious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK IT ISN'T ABANDONED.

"Nine more laps to go, Eggsy."  
  
Wheezing, hands on his knees and his entire body trembling after running for half the morning, Eggsy briefly considers what might happen if he just collapsed on the ground and played the omega in distress card. _Maybe play it up with some tears? Christ I'd rather let out a fucking omega cry than take another step!_ He glanced at Merlin and had his answer as to how well that would go: Merlin would just make him run more laps tomorrow. Or worse.  
  
"Fucking hell Merlin, you trying to kill me?" JB chuffed at Merlin's feet having quit somewhere around lap four. Merlin continued tapping away at his tablet, capably steering the Kingsman ship even as he personally doled out Eggsy's punishment.  
  
The man had a heart of stone, he did. He wouldn't even look at Eggsy as he responded. "I did tell you there were consequences if you turned off your phone. And you're lucky that I didn't suspend you for that little stunt you and Mr. Stafford pulled." Eggsy wisely chose not to comment further. After all, it was true and he couldn't even be pissed about it because he was so grateful.  
  
He'd been stupid. Angry and wounded, but running laps until he dropped dead was nothing compared to what could have happened. Merlin could have scrambled his brains, or worse, he could have had him removed from his position at his table. Even the thought made Eggsy's blood turn to ice.  
  
He couldn't lose that, not when he'd worked so hard and lost so much. He needed to be Gawain, needed it more than anything in the world, especially when Harry-  
  
_No, I'm not thinking of Galahad. I'm not._  
  
Eggsy stood up straight, nodding at Merlin before he started his next lap, ignoring the burning in his legs and the way his lungs screamed in protest. Somewhere in the background he could feel Harry watching him from the mansion. It hurt to think about so Eggsy ruthlessly shoved the feeling to the side. _I love my mum, but I won't be her, not even for you Harry._  
  
\---  
  
"Before you ask it's not that godawful merlot you prefer, it's brandy." Merlin didn't bother setting the bottle down instead heading over to the small cabinet in the corner to grab glasses for them both. It was a familiar offering, ground they were both comfortable with. Tactfully the beta ignored the way Harry clung to his chair, trying his best not to pounce on Merlin in order to drink up the faint smell of Eggsy clinging to his wool jumper.  
  
"Hello to you too Merlin." To his credit, Harry's words almost managed to sound casual.  
  
They still hadn't gotten back to the way they'd been before - before Kentucky, before Eggsy, before everything that happened in between - but it was impossible to stay away from one another. Even if they hadn't worked together they'd been friends for longer than they'd been alive. That sort of closeness couldn't be brushed under the rug easily, more so when Harry was a walking wound and Merlin knew he was to blame for it.  
  
Pouring two glasses Merlin quickly handed one over to Harry before taking a seat on the worn green couch in the corner of the room. He studied the other man for a moment before letting his head fall back grumpily. "...you're allowed to smell me for one minute. One. After that I'll kick you."  
  
Harry all but jumped over his desk, taking the spot next to Merlin and shoving his head against the grey wool, inhaling what he could of Eggsy. "Thank you." His voice was muffled and he did indeed take up the whole of the minute before Merlin nudged him away.  
  
"How is he?" Harry stared at his hands, curls obscuring his vision. For once the alpha side of Harry didn't protest the weakness of the admission; he'd take any crumb of knowledge about his mate, weakness be damned.  
  
Merlin mulled over what to say, swirling the amber liquor absently. For his part Harry admirably remained still and resisted the urge to demand answers. He was learning patience, even if it was a trial by fire. _I have no one to blame for it but myself._  
  
Finally Merlin met Harry's eyes, unable to hide the sympathy there. "Miserable, like you. I made him run laps today."  
  
"I saw." Reluctantly Harry stood and grabbed the tumbler of brandy from his desk, taking a long hard swallow before making a face. He never did like brandy. "I should be the one running laps. The entire staff hates me." He looked so morose standing there, the blinds striping him in sunlight and shadow.  
  
It reminded Merlin of their younger days, of a Harry Hart that would sneak in his room only to tell him all about the poet he was pining over, or the gorgeous barkeep, or the blue eyed beta maid with the legs for days, the lawyer across the street... young Harry had always been easily infatuated and just as easily bored. It made him smile to think of it, to think Harry had finally found someone worth loving forever, if only he could figure out how to let go of his obsessive need to _control_ everything.  
  
"Please don't be melodramatic. Everyone is angry with you, I think, because they believer you haven't apologized. Actually by now they probably think you threw Eggsy out." He didn't think, he _knew_. It wasn't very ethical but Merlin had eyes and ears everywhere - it came with the territory and some of the cafeteria conversations he'd overheard had been rather blistering when it came to defending the resident omega knight.  
  
Predictably Harry was on the defensive. "I would never, ever-"  
  
"Harry Hart would never, but you?" Merlin paused for effect, hoping it would sink in. More had changed than Harry's age and secondary gender. "Keep in mind, you are Harry Hart's nephew, not their Galahad. A complete unknown alpha who managed to break the heart of the lovable omega who won them over ages ago."  
  
It seemed like an obvious thing, a very simple one really, but clearly Harry hadn't tried to puzzle out the _why_ when it came to the cold shoulder he was receiving. Then again he was used to being almost universally adored for his charm. He hadn't had to work for admiration, it had just fallen in to his open palms.  
  
But Harry Hart's glib tongue was nothing compared to the open sincerity and genuine kindness of one Eggsy Unwin.  
  
"I see." And suddenly it was so very clear to him, revelation dawning on his face.  
  
Not one to resist sarcasm, Merlin only hard one word for him. "Finally."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stayed tuned for Pervical-As-Arthur!


	13. How Could He Not?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new Arthur makes his first serious request. It's as heartbreaking as Merlin expects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It isn't abandoned: the sequel!

As Arthur, Percival finally confronts Merlin.  
  
"Harry wasn't the only one who volunteered for that project."  
  
Merlin chooses not to look up, continuing with his latest notes on the trainees prospects. When he finishes a half an hour later Marcus - Arthur - is still there. He always was unnaturally patient. With a sigh he turned around, taking off his glasses in order to clean them. "As our king you're supposed to respect closed files, Arthur." It's a feeble attempt to shake the man off, to let sleeping dogs lie, but they both know it won't work. Still, he had to try.  
  
Arthur had an immediate reply. Of course he did. No doubt he'd been having this conversation with himself ever since he met Harry Hart's 'nephew'. "It's my job to know everything about Kingsman agents." _Bullshit_. There were only two agents Marcus ever gave a damn about and one of them was currently in Monaco. The other... "Not to mention, we need more knights. Preferably with experience."  
  
Ah, so they were going to have that conversation. To be honest Merlin expected it sooner. It was a damn shame it was Marcus and not one of the others, the man was a life-long abstainer from alcohol unless it was under mission parameters and would probably take offense if Merlin pulled out a bottle of scotch.  
  
_Honestly, the people I have to deal with._  
  
"I don't know what you're asking." Professional, to the point. It's his firm, why-are-you-bothering me voice. It goes over about as well as he can expect. Marcus's eyes narrow and he takes a careful step forward. It's a rare gesture of (attempted) intimidation from the man who is usually so neutral he comes off as barely an alpha at all.  
  
"James." _I don't want to have this conversation. Why am I having this conversation? Does no one but me understand the ramifications of what I've done? It is not some miracle cure all! I am not God!_  
  
Merlin doesn't bother hiding his anger. "Scratch that, _you_ don't know what you're asking."  
  
Marcus cleared his throat, backed off on the failed posturing attempt. "I know you have his body. You didn't let that bastard keep him." There is an edge to his voice, unexpected in it's vehemence.  
  
"Percival-" The beta sighs, shoves his glasses back on even as he struggles for the right words to say. Comfort has never been his strong suit, but clearly James's death is something the other man had not adjusted well to. He'd lived, but it was at a great cost. Without Roxy to think of Merlin doubted the man would have bothered to survive the death of his closest friend. Only friend, really. What would have been the point?  
  
"Arthur. I am Arthur now, Merlin." The other man straightens his spine, looking the part of the consummate professional even if their conversation is anything but.  
  
"Well then, as _Arthur_ maybe you should spit out exactly what you want from me." It's cruel to make Marcus say the words, Merlin knows it. But it's crueler still for the man to be there at all, asking this of him when it's such a heavy burden for Merlin to bear. He's had to live with what he did with Harry Hart for a few weeks now and, had he any hair left, the stress would have turned it white. He couldn't imagine the idea of having to do it again, to another person he'd called friend. Marcus surely can't ask it of him.  
  
"I told you: James." The way he says the name, like it's broken glass, makes Merlin wince, but Marcus quickly changes back to his usual dry-as-a-desert self. "Three men volunteered. Harold Hart was the first, for the next wave it was the now-deceased Chester King, and the last time you tried Ja-Lancelot offered himself up. You have his clone, like you had Harry's. Bring him back." That last part is a plea.  
  
Merlin's mind makes a connection, one he had never thought of before. Sure, James had been an omega and the men had been unusually close but then again some could have said the same of him and Harry. And yes, James had a daughter with no listed father but that didn't mean anything in their line of work. "...you were mated, weren't you?" Silence. "I never knew."  
  
"Nobody knew, we were very careful. You know how Chester could be." That was true. Chester had tried, multiple times, to have all but alphas removed from the table. He'd been furious when James had taken time off to give birth and had even tried to make the man name his alpha in front of the entire table! James had snarkily responded by saying 'Why you, of course, aren't you everybody's alpha Arthur?' Merlin may have clapped. "Roxy is our daughter, though she doesn't know about me."  
  
"Christ." Merlin stared at his hands. "It's not that simple. Harry was still alive and his brain wasn't- wasn't-"  
  
"Cut in half by a vicious bitch?" _Helpful as always, Marcus._  
  
"Yes."  
  
Marcus paused, staring at the various screens before turning his attention back to Merlin. "But the clone, it still has his mind doesn't it? Can't you just-"  
  
"I am not a mad scientist, Arthur." Merlin looks up, tired and angry, angry that his brilliant mind has brought him to this. There were times when he wished his life before had been enough, that he could have been Ian Burke and felt fulfilled. But it hadn't been and he wasn't about to go dabbling in time travel after the debacle that was his experiment with cloning.  
  
"I am commanding you to try." His voice was stern, fitting given what he was demanding.  
  
Merlin exploded. "Look what happened with Harry!" He stood and took a step forward, looming over the shorter man, fists balled up at his sides. "That wasn't a one-time mistake. All of the clones are alphas, I still don't know why. Do you really want to put James through that? Put yourself through that? What if it doesn't work?"  
  
Finally Marcus cracked, eyes filling with tears that he quickly wiped away before they even had a chance to form. "I am begging you. Please." _Christ, how am I supposed to say no to that?_ "If nothing else, do it for Roxy." _Oh Roxy, oh my poor darling..._ "She knew he was her father, you know. He couldn't stay away, it broke his heart to think of giving her up after carrying her and then losing the other pup..." Merlin resolved then and there to keep a more watchful eye on the personal lives of his knights. If nothing else to prevent this. "Please."  
  
He sighed, put a hand on Marcus's shoulder and squeezed. "I can't promise anything, but I will try." How could he not?


	14. You're Going To Fix This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which more people are miserable, because I am a terrible person.

It's come down to three trainees - Jamal isn't one of them but he's quickly been folded in to the weapons/security division - and all are very, very impressive. Not that any of the four people getting drunk on Roxy's roof really care about that at the moment. They're commiserating, each unhappy for a different reason, but bonding via the virtue of poor quality alcohol.  
  
Eggsy is moping about Harry, hurting and then hurting because he doesn't want to hurt. Ryan and Jamal feel like they're losing their old pack because Eggsy has a new pack now, one that's so much better than they could offer. But they can't tell him that, not without breaking his heart more than it already is, and they'd never do that to the omega, not ever. Especially not when his asshole mate had already kicked him around.  
  
And then there's Roxy whose fallen so hard for Merlin she's convinced it's literally killing her even though she knows how impossible that scenario is. He's a beta for only goes for other betas or omegas as far as she knows, and she's an alpha. He's gay and she's female. Not to mention the fact that she's asexual. It just won't ever happen.  
  
"I still can't believe you think Harry looks like a bad boy. Really Eggsy. JB looks more dangerous than him." Roxy shakes her honey-blonde head, grinning widely.  
  
"You didn't see the pictures of him when he was really young, all punked out in the 80's." That has all three of his companions surprised and utterly curious.  
  
"...no, I haven't. But now I absolutely need to."  
  
"Ditto mate." Ryan grins, already planning on getting ahold of the pictures if Eggsy denies them. Harry Hart in leather and eyeliner? That needs to go in the Kingsman database.  
  
"Not a chance. I might hate him but you'd just blackmail him at some point." Eggsy's head rolls lazily to the side, eyeballing Roxy who is likely plotting said blackmail. Best to distract her. "Speaking of blackmail, how's the whole Merlin thing going?"  
  
Roxy sighs, long and loud, before taking a pull directly off the bottle of some very cheap vodka. She's drunk enough to barely taste it but the three men applaud her anyway. "Eggsy, don't be stupid. He's in a relationship. With a man. An omega man. Aside from the fact that I'm an alpha female? I'm also, well, ace. I wouldn't stand a chance."  
  
"Somebody's melodramatic."  
  
"Hey, watch it you! I might be drunk but I'm pretty sure I could hurt you without falling off the roof."  
  
Ryan and Jamal share a look, knowing better than to throw their advice in to the mix. Just like they know better than to acknowledge that their old pack, the three musketeers, has dissolved somehow and that's why they're up here drinking. Eggsy has a new pack now, a pack that's Roxy and Merlin and probably Harry, he doesn't need them.  
  
\-------------------  
  
They move through the Kingsman hallways like wolves, all the polish they've accumulated since coming here wiping off easily in the face of what they're about to do. Ryan looks to Jamal, nods once, and they open the door to one Harry Hart's office without bothering to knock. This is their last act as Eggsy's pack and they're going to do it right.  
  
He might have moved beyond them now, but they can do this for him.  
  
Jamal shuts the door, leans against it with his arms crossed. All three share a look of mutual understanding. Harry could kill them both and understands the gesture they're making. For once his alpha tendencies lie dormant in the face of this act of pure love.  
  
"You're going to fix this." Ryan starts in, simple and to the point. "You're going to love him like it's your fucking life's work, and you ain't ever gonna lay a hand on him. Not once."  
  
From his place at the door Jamal nods. "Not once bruv - don't think we won't know."  
  
"And all this, all this... this hurting you're doing. You need to get it in your head that it's just as hard on him. He feels everything you do. Maybe not telepathically or whatever but Eggsy's always... he's always felt things stronger than most. And right now he loves you even if he hates you, so you'd best do something to deserve that."  
  
Mission accomplished, the potential for violence established, the pair leave the room and head back to their respective places within the organization, picking up their new, professional selves like coats at the door.  
  
\-------------------  
  
Eggsy takes a small mission acting as a bodyguard. It won't take long and he wants to prove that he can do this job. That he's just as capable as he was before he paired off with Harry. He knows there haven't been any doubts, that he's earned the respect of his fellow knights... but he needs to prove it to himself.  
  
He doesn't tell Harry, and neither does Merlin. Eggsy is in Canada when the man does find out and Merlin threatens to lock him in a closet if he tries to follow. He might have tried anyway, but he has other things on his mind.  
  
For one, Harry is absolutely sick and tired of Merlin asking how he feels. While he understands that nobody else gives a damn about Harry Hart's nephew it's frustrating to be reminded that he isn't himself except to the knights. And even then they don't treat him the same way.  
  
With Eggsy gone he makes some headway with the staff, enough that he isn't being outright shunned, but Merlin is always there, having medical look him over and asking him to come to the belly of Kingsman so Merlin can question him in person. It's annoying and very jarring because Harry really is trying to settle in to his new life, such as it is.  
  
Being reminded that there's an old life attached...  
  
It started with going shopping. Everything he had was ill-fitting and Harry (old and new) had always found that irritating. It was almost too easy to slide back to his younger self's preferences, slightly. Less frumpy old man, more comfortable punk though he was very confused by by the 'guyliner' concept _because it's just eyeliner honestly_. He also dug out a lot of his old things from the attic, happy he had saved them out of nostalgia.  
  
Chester King is likely rolling in his grave. _Good_.  
  
When Merlin called him down for the third time that day (not that Harry was doing anything but alpha practice) something snapped. "Unless you are assigning me a mission or need to inform me about Eggsy-" Merlin frowned. "then I am not coming down here, period. I don't need you asking me if I'm fine fifty times a day because I'm not fine, at all, but I am trying to be and that's not helping so bugger off."  
  
Now that he's gotten that out of his system Harry feels guilty for venting. He knows Merlin is trying, that he feels entirely responsible for Eggsy and Harry's unhappiness and he's doing his best to be a good friend. It's not anyone's fault that Merlin's people skills are... limited.  
  
"I just want Eggsy back home and talking to me instead of ignoring me, okay?" Harry sighs and drops in to the chair near Merlin's. A thought popped in to his head, one that he's been thinking about on and off since his miraculous transition.  
  
He looks up, suddenly staring intently at his old friend. "...can I see it? My, my old body?"  
  
"Are you sure that's wise?"  
  
"No, but I need to see it Merlin. I need to say goodbye."  
  
That's how they end up even further in to Merlin's domain in a cold storage room that's ordinarily empty - it's rare a Kingsman's body can be recovered and usually it's claimed by the family fairly quickly. With Harry Merlin hadn't known what to do.  
  
Harry stared at it, his original body, trying hard to think of it as an _it_ instead of as _him_. It's harder than he thought it would be. His voice is choked up when he asks Merlin "What will happen to it?"  
  
"Cremation is our only safe option."  
  
Together they watched as the last remaining part of him burned.  
  
He wished Eggsy could be there.


	15. Roxy Might Interfere

Roxy is the one to suggest that - even though they're mated - Harry court Eggsy properly. It's a strong suggestion. They've both been meeting informally again for his alpha training (Merlin's orders) and the idea takes Harry by surprise. So much so that he doesn't realize she's in his space until she's neatly flipped him on the ground, knee digging in to his spine. "I think we both agree that Eggsy is a beautiful, wonderful soul. He _deserves_ to be courted even if he thinks he doesn't."  
  
This was the part where, when he'd initially changed, Harry would go in to beast mode, but he felt no inclination. He really was adjusting to his new life. Immediately his mind went to Eggsy, wanting to find him and kiss him with joy while telling him when he remembered that his mate was gone and likely wanted nothing to do with him.  
  
It soured the moment.  
  
The other alpha stood, reluctantly offering her hand. Harry took it and for the first time she she'd taken JB from him Roxy looked him in the eye. "It will give you time to know eachother too, as you are now."  
  
\------------------  
  
The mission goes well and Eggsy's back in less than a week, ready to tackle the absolutely fucking _mess_ that's his life now that his self-confidence is back. _I can do this. I'm Eggsy Unwin and I saved the world. If I can do that I can handle an grumpy prick of an alpha with control issues. Right?_ That's what he's telling himself when he comes back to Roxy's flat.

There's a package on the counter, elegantly wrapped in understated green and blue, and it's addressed to him.

Eggsy approaches it like it's a ticking bomb. He even considers calling Roxy because. Well. People don't really buy him gifts. Sure, his mum tried when she could, when Dean wasn't being a right prick, but it was usually things like a sweater or socks or something cheap and easy. Nothing picked out with care and wrapped up as nicely as this. _Come on Eggsy, it's just a present. Honestly ain't gonna bite ya or nothin' like that now is it?_

Shaky hands pulled at the bow, carefully pulled at the tape so nothing ripped. Inside was a box from a high-end shop, one he recognized. And inside the box was a _gorgeous_ pair of trainers, black and gold, the _exact_ pair he'd been lusting after before Kingsman swooped in and stole him away. "No fuckin' way." Who would even know? Maybe Ryan, Jamal? But why would they buy him something like this, wasn't his birthday or anything. He looks for a card, shifting through the tissue paper three times, but there's none.

His brow scrunched up and he bit at his lip. Finally he wrapped everything back up and stashed it in the closet so he could think.

Later in the day his super spy skills hadn't drawn him to any sort of conclusions so he relented and headed for the guest room shower, intended to scrub the nasty aftershave smell away (seriously, the bloke he'd been guarding must has dumped a bucket of the crap on himself every morning) before he was met with another surprise. Oh hell, what now.

Instead of a box he found a gift basket, again with his name on it, tied with a flourish of gold and glittering white ribbon. He picked through it, finding all manner of fancy, french-milled soaps, oils, and lotions, specifically made for omegas. Again there's no card and it makes him uncomfortable. Clearly Roxy put it there but who sent it?  
  
He's is baffled enough to send a text to Roxy.  
  
Eggsy _umm, why did you buy me fancy soaps and shit?_  
Roxy _...I didn't?_  
Eggsy sent her a picture. _sure looks like fancy soaps and shit, and my name's on 'em_  
Roxy _why would I send you a gift basket?_  
Eggsy _I DON'T KNOW_  
Roxy _maybe somebody ELSE sent you a gift basket_  
Eggsy _who?_  
 _you don't think_  
 _why?_  
 _you threatened him didn't you_  
 _you didn't right_  
 _YOU DID_  
 _ROXANNE ELIZABETH MORTON_  
Roxy _Love you!_  
  
The next day he finds the _softest_ blanket and his favorite chocolate biscuits on the stoop, neatly wrapped. At work there's a new bed for JB, a supple leather shoulder holster, and a watch that looks like it cost a month worth's of hazard pay and probably did. Eggsy's face is tomato-red all damn day. He can't even believe that he's... that Harry's... _christ_. He breaks around noon and sends a text to the man in question, more nervous than he'd admit to being.  
  
Eggsy _thank you_  
Harry _It was my pleasure, I do hope you liked everything. I wasn't certain._  
Eggsy y _ou did good, more than that. I can't believe this watch._  
 _I miss you. Arsehole._  
Harry _That can easily be remedied._  
 _I suppose I should have said I miss you too._  
 _Dreadfully._  
 _I should have started with that._  
 _I'm an idiot._  
Eggsy _you got that right_  
Harry _Can I see you?_  
 _I don't know how to fix this if you won't talk to me._  
Eggsy _take me to dinner then_  
Harry _Done. When?_  
Eggsy _friday night? around 8?_  
Harry _I'll see you then, Eggsy._  
He starts to type out that he loves him, but in the end erases it.  
Across town Eggsy watches the '...' before it stops. Harry doesn't send another message.  
  
\------------------  
  
Naturally, life as a Kingsman isn't predictable. Eggsy gets sent to Columbia to steal a diamond from some bird, Harry gets a boring ( _boring_ ) mission following a businessman in Scotland and by the time they return the tension is back, smothering them both. He wants to say something, to suggest another date, to just stop Eggsy in the hall (if he can find him - the omega is brilliant when it comes to making himself scarce) and beg him to please come home... but he can't. He _can't._  
  
It's been almost a whole month of Eggsy avoiding him and it's killing him. _Killing_ him. He's drinking more, something Merlin notices but blessedly remains silence about. He isn't sleeping. He doesn't even want to think about eating, getting by on whatever he can scavenge from the pantry.

Harry is about ready to start sending gifts again when he comes home to Eggsy sitting at the dining room table. His heart jumps, practically out of his chest, because that's _Eggsy,_ home and sitting there _and oh god he's missed him so damn much-_  
  
But he doesn't seem any happier than Harry, shoulders slumped dejectedly with black smudges under his lovely eyes, and that stops Harry from doing anything impulsive like flying in to the boy's arms and weeping. _God, look what I've done to you. My dear boy._ "Merlin said you've been looking for me."  
  
Harry shifted in place, nails digging in to his palms to keep him from flinging himself at Eggsy's feet and outright begging his mate to stay. To admit that he'd do anything to have them back to where they'd been before, swaddled in the newness of everything and so blindingly _happy_. "Yes, I didn't know where you'd gone." He looked at Eggsy out from under his fringe. "I was afraid you might not come back."  
  
Naturally, Eggsy has an immediate response. He was always quick-witted. "Just doin' what you asked, _alpha_."  
  
Harry sighed, stung by the reality of it all, and gave up any pretense of being calm and collected. He stepped forward - heart lurching painfully when Eggsy flinched. "I don't blame you for hating me, I _never_ should have spoken to you that way. I was angry and I took it out on you-"  
  
"Yeah, I know. I was there."  
  
"I thought I was a better man than this." Harry swallowed, staring down at his hands. It was true, he had, and he did. His whole sense of self was based around his ability to control any situation. It was who he was. But that all changed when he'd woken up strapped to a bed, mind on fire. "I wanted to prove to myself that I was in control so badly." He did, god how he did. "I don't know how you even stand me." He knows how forlorn he sounds and hates it.  
  
For whatever reason, Eggsy takes pity on him. "Harry, I love you. Even if I'm pissed, that part doesn't change." He's idly tracing shapes on the surface of the table, so still and tense, like he might shatter if anyone touched him. "And you are a good man, the best there is."  
  
"Don't gloss over what I did, it wasn't right." It's a strangers voice, harsh with recrimination.  
  
If he expected Eggsy to spare him (he hadn't) then he'd have been disappointed. His boy when for the throat, like he always had. Glittering and sharp, but not necessarily cruel. "No, it wasn't. You were a prick and went for all the sore spots you could. It wasn't okay, but I can forgive you for it because not being with you is shit."  
  
"I agree." What else can he say in the face of such brutal honesty?  
  
Another sigh, this one from Eggsy, before he looks up and meets Harry's eyes. He's always so brave, defiant in face of the odds. _How I've always admired that about him, how he refuses to let the world break him, no matter how much it hurts him._ "We're gonna have to do better than this, Harry."  
  
"I know." The urge to prostrate himself at Eggsy's feet is too strong and at this point Harry doesn't care how it makes him look. He crosses the room and kneels at his darling boy's feet, head dropping on his knee, breathing heavily. He's so close to tears at this point, can feel them prickling at the edge of his vision.  
  
Eggsy's hand runs through his curls, voice going soft and gentle. "I mean it, we gotta talk this stuff out. You can't just bottle everything up till you burst, yeah?" Harry nods. "And I can't go runnin' off on you neither, doin' dumb shit like I don't care."  
  
That has Harry's attention, raising his wet-lashed eyes to meet Eggsy's hazel ones with concern. "I'm afraid I don't have much experience sharing my feelings, but I promise to try my best and if that isn't enough we'll find a way to work it out together." He doesn't want to ask about Eggsy's vague comment. He doesn't. _That's a lie even I can't swallow._ "Since we're talking about things... I confess I very much want to know what I've pushed you in to doing that qualifies as 'dumb shit', if you'll tell me."  
  
"Okay, I'll tell you but swear down it won't happen no more, Merlin flipped his shit at me and Roxy 'bout strangled me settin' me straight." His hands are jittery, still running through Harry's hair but drifting down his cheek and jawline. "After- I went out with Ryan. Just wanted to get smashed and forget about everythin' for a bit. I was so fucking worried about you, and then I was mad 'bout that because everything you said... it hurt. It hurt _bad_. So when this bloke offered me some coke, I did it. Later called a fella I knew from, from before... just the two times. No more. That's a habit I broke."  
  
He looks like he's waiting for Harry to go cold, to scold him for his behavior. To get angry. But how could he, when he'd driven Eggsy to it in the first place? Instead he takes the boy's hand and kisses his palm without judgment. "I... well I can't say I'm happy, but I do understand." He leans up and for the first time since their fight they kiss, and it's soft and gentle and filled with so much fucking _love_. "It's just as much my fault as yours."  
  
The omega pulled away, leaning his forehead against Harry's. "We square then? Because I really fuckin' missed you."  
  
"And I you."


End file.
